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Idiot Males Drool Over Atrocious Woman

Idiot Males Drool Over Atrocious Woman published on

Some chick called Alli Reed, apparently a comedian of some sorts, took to OkCupid and set up the kind of profile that she expected would have all the men puking. Instead, she got hundreds of responses from weak-brained men who were quite willing to overlook her inner hideousness and focus instead on her good looks. While I don’t find this piece amusing ( I rarely find anything on Cracked amusing ) it does tell us a lot about how high up on the list of priorities sex with a gorgeous woman is for some men.

Is this willingness to risk life and limb to get some hot soup a natural thing? No, of course not. Like beauty itself, it is mostly the doing of societal standards imposed for God knows what reason. It doesn’t really matter what  the motivation behind these bizarre standards is, what does matter is that it gets some men in a shitload of trouble, trouble they could easily have avoided if society did not teach them that life is all about scoring with the hot bird – even if she’s the kind who will fake a pregnancy!

Retards on the loose here

Kiki Lin Has A Tight Pussy

Kiki Lin Has A Tight Pussy published on

Hey, someone had to say it. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong kind of pussy. Some asshole in Taiwan decided that the proper way to discipline her cat was to do this…

Yes, folks, she stuffed her cat into a plastic jar! Now, while this is far from being the worst case of animal abuse I’ve seen, it is a pretty unpleasant thing to do to an animal, even one with a stupid name like Kiki (yep, she named the cat after herself!) Compounding the girl’s cruelty is her stupidity – she posted the photos of her crime on Facebook! This is what gets into Uni in Taiwan? I wonder if they have women’s quotas over there…?

Not only is Kiki ( the large one, not the one who looks like she’s sitting on Satan’s lap) a moron and a sadist, but the little cow sees nothing wrong with what she did. No, like all psychos she places the blame at the feet of others…

“I really don’t see how it is their (netizens) place to criticize me,” said Lin, “without even knowing what happened; they have too much time on their hands.”

Of course we have extra time on our hands. You know why? Because we aren’t busy stuffing animals into jars! Later on, Ms Lin confirmed my suspicions about the contents of her skull by changing her story. Apparently, the cat-stuffing incident was not a form of punishment but rather an attempt at inventing a novel new form of pet transport…

“I love her so much, and I was just testing out the most convenient method of taking her out. And I only did it once.”

She then insulted everyone’s intelligence by presenting the press with the jar, which has miraculously sprouted some air holes not seen in the original photo.

The cruelty, the lack of empathy for her own pet, the refusal to accept responsibility, let’s just hope this girl gets her tubes tied before some idiot knocks her up. Last thing the world needs is a child in this woman’s hands. As for punishment, forget the fine and jail time – let’s stuff her into a jar just big enough for one pinhead. When she yells out the Chinese version of “What the fuck!?!?!” we can just tell her that it’s time for walkies!  It should be okay – as long as we do it only once.

More on this pussy stuffer here.

Amanda Marcotte Screams Misogyny at People Who Diss Cats

Amanda Marcotte Screams Misogyny at People Who Diss Cats published on

Hot on the heels of her complaints about the size of women’s wrists in Disney movies, comes yet another howler from Mad Mandy.

Yes, folks, Marcotte the Mad has struck again. This time she is claiming that the reason some people hate on cats is because – wait for it – cats are seen as feminine, are popular with single women and we live in a society in which everyone hates women!

In a recent slab of weirdness  entitled “Why Do People Bag On Cats So Much?” the internet’s dumbest feminist claims…

“Well, I think I have a theory, and yes, it’s sexism. Deeply sublimated sexism, but sexism all the same. While all sorts of people have pets of both types, cats are associated with not just women, but single, childless women. A lot of what people are doing when they insist that you cat doesn’t really love you and you must be fooling yourself is a kind of mansplaining: Silly cat ladies, who think that their cats love them! It fits into this larger narrative about how women are dumb and needy and cling to cats, unlike sure-footed, bright men who pick a pet they know loves them: dogs.”

While an interesting “theory” in the post modern sense of the word (which is to say that it is little more than a wild guess) not only does Marcotte The Mad fail to present actual evidence, she also fails to explain why this supposedly widespread dislike of the feline species isn’t hating on people who think their cats love them, rather than just on the women. But then, this is feminist theory and hence does not need any evidence, just a persecution complex and a manufactured sense of outrage. Normal people would say that the reason many people don’t like cats is that cats don’t dote on their owners the way that wonderful creature called the dog does. If you burst into fire, your dog will race to the nearest fire extinguisher and promptly douse the flames, or at the very least he will jump up onto the mantelpiece so he can pee on you. Not the cat, though, the cat will – if he bothers to wake up at all – simply go “Meh,” and then fall back asleep. Personally I think these people are missing the point of having a pet as the idea is for you to look after it, not for it to look after you, but I can see where they are coming from. Not Mad Mandy, oh, no…

Little Ms Paranoia then draws an even more tenuous connection between cat-haters and “pick up artists,” claiming that…

“Cats are imbued with one of the worst stereotypes of women, popular with “pick-up artists”: That women are shallow creatures who don’t love so much as seek out the richest man they can find, and they exchange sex for security. Except cats are characterized as shallow creatures who merely feign affection for security, but basically, same theory.”

Again, no evidence, just a ludicrous assertion that PUAs can’t tell the difference between pussy and pussy. But wait, with Mad Mandy we don’t need evidence, we have something much more important, much more substantial, and in Mandy’s world view probably much more feminine…

“… I’d like to see a study that measures if there’s a correlation between holding negative views of cats and believing women are gold-diggers. Because I have a hunch that might just be so.”

To the feminist mind, this thing called a “hunch” is pretty much the same as yelling “Checkmate! Argument over! Take your logic and shove it Mr. Man, no room for reason around here!”

Mentally ill rantings here.

Incidentally, in this article we also learn that Mad Mandy has a boyfriend! I don’t know who the unlucky guy is, but I do have this piece of advice – dump Mandy, and buy a cat.

 

“No Tits, Please, we’re Swedish!”

“No Tits, Please, we’re Swedish!” published on

In an attempt to debunk the widespread notion that Sweden has  become an international joke, some rabid feminist weasel called Susanne Eberstein has decided that a rather fine painting depicting a slightly naked woman must be removed from the Swedish Parliament’s dining room!

G.E Schroder’s “Juno” has apparently offended the grotty-looking Eberstein by emphasizing how grossly unattractive she is. Face it – if you looked like this woman does you wouldn’t want to be standing underneath a painting of some luscious, creamy, female concoction would you? Like standing Rodney Dangerfield next to a painting of a bare-chested Brad Pitt — most unkind. Not to mention smelly, given how long old Rodders has been dead. And yet, I suspect Rodders smells sweeter than Eberstein does, at least on the figurative level.

At first, in their typically gynocentric fashion, the Swedish authorities made excuses for the aesthetically inferior by claiming that it was simply time for a new painting to take its place on the wall, but eventually the feminist in question, who is also – no doubt through some sort of affirmative action –  the deputy speaker of the parliament, made it clear that there was a more obvious reason for this act of censorship…

“I think it is more a feminist issue. It’s tiresome (looking at) a bare-breasted woman when I sit at public dinners with foreign guests. I think it feels a little hard to sit there with men who look at us women,” blithered Social Democrat Eberstein, while salivating her way through the latest issue of Hustler’s “Hot, Hung, and Young!”

The thing that amazes me about this line of thinking is that she would be under the impression that any man, either than one with severe macular degeneration, would be prompted by this…

…to think of this…

I’ve got news for you, my gorgon-headed friend, to most men you and this woman come from different planets. She comes from the planet Venus, and you come from the Planet Of The Sadly Deluded Middle-Aged Women.

Typical Swedish silliness here.

 

Senile Old Coot Fails to Foresee Own Death

Senile Old Coot Fails to Foresee Own Death published on

Remember this guy?

Yeah, him, Harold Camping, the nutjob who a couple of years ago announced that the world would soon be ending in a glorious explosion of hellfire, brimstone and self-righteousness. While his unexpected and novel announcement may have caused much mirth amongst the rational few, it also caused a lot of Christian idiots to sell their possessions and donate their kidneys in preparation for the coming Rapture  — because as everyone knows, in heaven you need neither your Tivo nor your internal organs. For this, I don’t know whether to damn Harold or thank him…

Anyway, it seems that Harold’s power to predict the future is even more flawed than we thought. The news has come down (rather like Harold himself) that the great man has apparently died after failing to divine that dancing on the roof when you are 92 is a bad idea. Yes, while dancing the polka with a pair of drunken strippers, the devout one slipped and fell off the roof, landing face first in his dog’s water dish. By the time the strippers could climb down off the roof and give him mouth to mouth, it was too late – the Holy Man had gone to meet his maker with what is probably a very bad case of doggy breath.

This links to a religious site. You have been warned. If you don’t want to give them traffic, you can just take my word for it.

 

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