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Madonna Threatens To Fellate Clinton Supporters

Madonna Threatens To Fellate Clinton Supporters published on

We all know that if there is one thing Donald Trump lacks, it’s celebrity supporters. Holy shit, you can count them all on one short-fingered hand! The bright side to this dark situation is that even if Trump goes down in flames he will have done us all the favor of revealing just how plutocratic showbiz has become. Here they are, faced with the choice of a neo-liberal, neo-conservative warmonger vs. a more old fashioned type of conservative, and who do they side with? Yep — the far right woman who wants to make the celebs’ stock portfolio fatter and fatter with every quarter. Choosing far-right over center-right – so much for “left wing” Hollywood!

Apparently, though, not all celebs are trying to get Psycho Granny into the White House, as we found out recently when Madonna — a withered, botoxed old thing that used to be quite popular at around the time that the Wright Brothers started fooling around with their famous contraption — made this surprise statement in front of a group of retarded SJWs who had come to worship at the flabby altar of Amy Schumer…

“If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob. OK? I’m really good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact, and I do swallow.”

Now, the naïve amongst us have taken that as an encouragement for dudes to go out and vote for Clinton. But who in their right mind would want a blowjob from a dried up old mummy like Madonna? Nobody, and Madge knows it. I mean, she even threatens to look into the recipient’s eyes as she “swallows the snake” so that the poor bastard won’t be able to pretend he’s being blown by an attractive woman! And speaking of swallowing, what can the mention that she swallows be other than a threat to give the guy herpes and whatever other shit you can get from an unprotected blowjob? I mean, she can’t swallow if the poor bastard is wearing a condom, can she? And then there is also the threat to take her time. No sixty second sucky-suck here! Oh, no! The horror will go on for at least five minutes, minutes which, under such circumstances, will feel like eons. It’s possible, of course that the poor old bat is so senile that she thinks someone might actually want a blowjob from her sandpaper mouth, but i doubt it. No, as i see it, this is Madonna’s attempt to make up for all the bad shit she has done in the past by helping to get the lesser of the two evils into the chair in which, ironically, Hillary Clinton’s husband used to get his dick sucked!

And it’s working, too! As of the writing of this piece, the NY Times is claiming that roughly 50 million American men have reported that they will be changing their vote from Clinton to Trump in order to avoid getting their wieners covered in the dust of the ages. The tactic has proven so successful that even illegal Mexican immigrants have promised to vote Trump! According to the Times, one such man, an aspiring gardener just freshly arrived in Los Angeles, was quoted as saying…

“No quiero BJ de Madonna! Dios mio, no! NO! Trump es bueno! Yo voto para Trump. No Madonna! Per favor, no Madonna!”

For all you deplorable, non-multicultural bastards out there, this translates roughly as “A blowjob from a woman older than my grandmother?!?!?! I’d rather stick my dick in a blender!”

And so i salute you, Ms. Ciccone, for at long last lending your mouth to a good cause. Of course, not all men surrender so easily and that leaves about 70 million blowjobs for Madge to deliver on come (heh, heh) November 8th. 70 million blowjobs in a day. Sounds like tough work! But don’t worry, boys – it’s nothing Madge hasn’t done before! I just hope she remembers to take along plenty of Alka- Seltzer…

Celebrities – They Aren’t Ignorant, They Are Just Plain Evil!

Celebrities – They Aren’t Ignorant, They Are Just Plain Evil! published on

When i say “evil” i am not here speaking of all celebs – Howdy Doody and Elmo, i am pretty certain, are not evil. No, the celeb trash i speak of here are the scum supporting Hillary Clinton.

howdy doody elmo not evil
Howdy Doody and Elmo — possibly the only celebrities who are not evil.

Let’s get one thing straight – Clinton’s celebrity supporters are people of merely average intelligence, some of them may even be literally stupid, but none of them are ignorant. Every single one of these scumbag pieces of shit knows exactly what they are supporting. They know this is a woman who voted for the Iraq war and then defended her evil decision for many years. They know this is a woman who helped to blow up dozens, possibly hundreds, of Pakistani Muslims with drone strikes. They know this is a woman so likely to start another mass slaughter in the Arab world that she has the backing of the neo-conservative establishment despite the fact that most of them are Republicans! They know this is a woman who supported the TPP until it became inconvenient to do so and that she will almost certainly revert to supporting it once she’s sitting in that chair that her husband used to get his dick sucked in.

All these things the De Niros, Clooneys, Damons, Gagas and countless other pieces of subhuman, pseudo-leftist Hollywood trash know – and you know how we know they know? Because we told them so. Gone are the days when celebrities could plead ignorance. Nowadays, most of them have social media accounts, and the few who don’t have them have celebrity friends who do have them. And what happens on these Facebook and Twitter accounts? People tell them what’s what, that’s what. All of these neo-liberal, neo-conservative piles of turd have been told by ordinary folks that their backing of Psycho Granny is a recipe for further corporate tyranny and a few more deserts running red with blood. They know fully well that what they are doing is backing a plutocracy-serving, war-mongering Democrat over a center-right, anti-establishment Republican who is more inclined to do things the old fashioned way – you know, like not slaughtering 100s of thousands of innocents for fun and profit. And incidentally, you know why i think Trump is anti-establishment? Because the establishment is so anti-Trump, that’s why.

But back to the scum supporting Clinton. All this neo-liberalism and neo-conservative crap is fine with them because they are, despite their politically correct posturing, a bunch of filthy 1 percenters. Like the heads of the corporations that they own stock in, Hollywood’s elite want more cheap labor, they want corporations suing states for interfering with their profits, and they want the rocketing stock prices that come when corporations make a fortune selling weapons that will be used to blow up yet some other hapless country. Greed and evil, that’s what Hollywood’s support for the Clinton campaign all comes down to. But ignorance, that doesn’t even enter into it these days. Your average pro-Clinton supporter on the street, yes they can often plead ignorance (on Facebook, one woman told me that my accusing Clinton of being both a neo-liberal and a neo-conservative was as ridiculous as claiming she was both a left winger and a right winger!) but not the celebs who are often, and often against their will, given fact after fact after fact by the more decent members of things like Facebook and Twitter.

And if Clinton wins, God forbid, you can bet that once she starts her first little war or passes the TPP, all these celebrity scum will plead ignorance — “Oh, but how could we possibly have known what a dreadful, dreadful woman she would turn out to be?!?!?!” they will all wail while wringing their hands and shedding CGI tears. And, alas, most of the public will buy this show of third rate theatricality and rush to not only believe, but to also console and comfort these psychopathic liars. But those of us who can still think for ourselves won’t, for we will remember that Clinton’s celebrity supporters already knew what a monster she would be – because we are the ones who told them.


Vote Trump – He Ain’t That Bad!

Hillary Clinton To Name Bill Clinton As Rapist In Chief

Hillary Clinton To Name Bill Clinton As Rapist In Chief published on


The presidential hopeful today announced that, if she wins the presidency, her husband will be given the post of Rapist In Chief as well as several thousand bottles of Viagra.

The surprise announcement comes in the wake of revelations by various anti-feminist groups that the much cited figure that one in three college women are raped is fictional, and that the real figure is closer to one in fifty. Said the former Secretary of State…

“As a woman, it concerns me that so few young women are being raped in our colleges. It is a woman’s God given right to be raped, and if today’s young men are not up to the job, my husband is just the guy to step into the breach. So to speak. As the whole world knows, Bill is quite the expert when it comes to rape and sexual assault – just ask Juanita Broaddrick. Or Obama’s pet dog, for that matter!”

When asked how he felt about the promised appointment, President Clinton, whose right hand seemed to be doing the Lambada in his pocket, spat out some tobacco juice and yelled lustily…

“Yeehar, ahm gonna grab me some pussy!”

Words That Girlz Think Are, Like, Gross And Yucky And Stuff

Words That Girlz Think Are, Like, Gross And Yucky And Stuff published on


In another fine example of the unholy union between feminism and the plutocracy, some bossy, bitchy drama queens at Kellog’s have gone out of their way to ask British girls aged 16 to 24 which words they feel undermine their “strength as a female” and which they would like to actually ban from the English language! Yes, because what the world really needs is kids with little to no knowledge of the world telling the adults what words they should and should not be able to use.

According to the survey, which is part of a Special K advertising effort, young girls these days become hysterical and hormonal whenever someone uses words like “bossy” in their sacred presence. Said one precious young flower…

“Every time people call me a ball-breaker i feel really bad about myself because it suggests that breaking men’s balls is somehow a bad thing and it, like, you know, makes me feel guilty about breaking so many balls.”

According to some highly strung, over the hill haddock called Nicola Roberts…

“It is a strange thing that in a modern society we still have room for language that holds strong women back,”

…she said while weeping into her cheesecake. And it is indeed strange – strange that strong women would be held back by mere language. But then, i suspect that in typical feminist fashion our stale chicky-babe has a definition of strength that includes being a weak-minded pussy who can’t tolerate any degree of resistance and who hides under the table every time there is a thunder storm.

The survey also revealed that today’s high maintenance princesses would like instead to be described with bright, shiny adjectives such as “confident” and “courageous.” You will notice that the feisty young things do not state that they would like to be confident and courageous, only that they would like to be described that way. The former, you see, would entail the kind of hard work that today’s girls feel is beneath them — what they want is to be labeled Wonder Woman while acting more like Scooby Doo! Yes, i just compared today’s girls to a cowardly, cartoon dog. But that’s cool, because today’s manipulative young bitches don’t include “dog” or “bitch” on their list of words that should be banned by Big Sister. I also noticed that, funnily enough, these kiddies don’t seem to object to words like “cunt,” hence it must be okay to call the UK’s women “cunts.” Fancy that, when i finally get my OBE i can say to the Queen, “Thanks very much, your cunty majesty!”

More hormonal hysteria here.