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Rantings Of A Swineherd

Rantings Of A Swineherd published on

My manager now has a Substack. Partly it’s his way of saying “fuck you” to the fascist scum trying to shut it down, and partly it’s a place to say things that don’t fit in anywhere else. Virtually everything posted there will be for free or available on one of the websites.

Roll up to hear the Rantings Of A Swineherd!

I don’t think he meant THAT kind of coyote…

I don’t think he meant THAT kind of coyote… published on

I swear, when i saw this i thought it was a satire account. But nope, she’s a real politician — a Democrat, of course. Even funnier is that she works as a lawyer and investment adviser despite being, apparently, literally retarded. So retarded that even after people made fun of her she still didn’t get what she’d done wrong! Now, how would someone this intellectually challenged end up in a position of power? Well, it ain’t because she’s a white male, that’s for sure! If you don’t know what the term “coyote” means and you work as an accountant or at Wendy’s, fair enough. But if you don’t know and you work in politics, you are simply incompetent and need to be kicked out onto the street.

Cheaper than Ipecac syrup…

Cheaper than Ipecac syrup… published on

You know those times when you eat something that’s gone off and the only solution to your woes is to make yourself puke, but the fingers down the throat just aren’t working? I give you the answer to your problems…

Bloody ‘ell! Yes, it’s Lizzo, that icon of everything that is healthy and wholesome. And this came from some Daily Mail article in which she was described as “curvaceous”! No – curvaceous means you have curves, what this woman has are lumps! If anything, she’s lump-aceous!

Now, if you want to be fat enough to get stuck in a freight elevator, that’s your business. But when you are rich and famous and therefore influential, you should not be acting as if looking like a beached whale that’s been left out in the sun too long is a good thing. After all, unlike the rich, girls stupid enough to follow this Lizzo girl into the realm of morbid obesity can’t afford to pay someone to wipe their asses! Think about it, this woman literally cannot wipe her own ass, and she’s being held up — with great difficulty, admittedly — as some sort of role model! It’s madness, that’s what it is.

And then there are the coming medical bills. Fine for Lizzo, she can get a million dollars worth of surgery at the first sign of high blood pressure, but the poor girls can’t! They’ll get diabetes, and heart attacks, and strokes! And how you gonna look sexy when both your feet are missing and half your face is down to your knees? You ain’t. Shame on Lizzo, and shame on the Daily Mail for promoting this crap. They’ll be promoting heroin addiction, next.

I KNEW there was something sinister about bagels…

I KNEW there was something sinister about bagels… published on

Ah, the joys of hanging out on Gab, where everything is the fault of the Jews! Seriously, you can’t make this shit up. Apparently, the Jews are fucking us over by getting us to eat non-Aryan food. Tacos and Sushi rolls are bringing about the downfall of Western civilization and nobody is doing anything about it!

“Not Enough Fried Chicken!” Say Black Students

“Not Enough Fried Chicken!” Say Black Students published on

Don’t blame me for the stereotype – black students really are saying that at Oberlin College, the academic rectum that crapped out self-confessed pedophile and feminist turd Lena Dunham.

Apparently, the black student union has pissed on the food…No, wait. Scratch that. What I meant to say is that they are pissed at the food on offer at a dorm called Afrikan (sic) Heritage House because the black folks love their fried chicken and it isn’t a permanent menu item on Sunday nights! How culturally insensitive of Whitey. Of course, if fried chicken was always available, the PC loons running the union would complain that Whitey is trying to kill the black folks with cholesterol! No word on whether or not the hyper-sensitive kiddies are also offended at watermelon not being available year round, but they are probably working on it. Also, my sources tell me that it is one of the union’s founding principles that hot sauce should be free, but only for students of a darker complexion.

They aren’t the only ones yelling “Oppression! Oppression! Aaaarghh!” though. Some Vietnamese students, such as some chick called Diep Nguyen are pissed off that Vietnamese food is not being served with baguettes, presumably because they are proud of their past as a French conquest! The delicate little flower also did not appreciate the coleslaw — “It was ridiculous,” Nguyen shrieked hysterically at some idiot from the school newspaper, before scarfing down a can of her country’s most popular traditional drink, Coca Cola. Yet others, such as Chinese dragon lady Prudence Hiu-Ying have whined that some weird thing called “General Tso’s chicken” is made using steamed rather than fried chicken (again with the fried chicken. Are hardened arteries the politically correct thing to have nowadays?) and carries the wrong sauce. It is a horror beyond comprehension, I’m sure… I’m starting to see why the Chinese prefer sons over daughters, by the way.

And then there’s the sushi. According to at least one Japanese lunatic, it does not contain anywhere near enough whale. Also the rice is undercooked, and the whale isn’t fresh enough, both of which are severe and unforgivable insults to both her ancestors and her culture. She also speculated that it may have been similar western insensitivity that led to the attack on Pearl Harbor. And the complaints aren’t limited to the blacks and the yellows, either. Suspiciously pale individual Harley “Big Billy” Moonshine, president of the Appalachian Students Union, complained that the college cafeteria doesn’t serve enough roadkill-based meals. “Dang, ah miss that there flattened possum more than I can tell ya! That and grits! Ain’t nothin’ like a big plate of flattened possum and grits, no sirree!” he complained to the school newspaper.

Next thing you know, there will be calls for pork and bacon to be banned because they aren’t Halal. That, I must say, I have no problem with.

PC continues its rampage here. And, yes, I too have noticed that most of the whining at the school paper seems to be the doing of women…