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“Not Enough Fried Chicken!” Say Black Students

“Not Enough Fried Chicken!” Say Black Students published on

Don’t blame me for the stereotype – black students really are saying that at Oberlin College, the academic rectum that crapped out self-confessed pedophile and feminist turd Lena Dunham.

Apparently, the black student union has pissed on the food…No, wait. Scratch that. What I meant to say is that they are pissed at the food on offer at a dorm called Afrikan (sic) Heritage House because the black folks love their fried chicken and it isn’t a permanent menu item on Sunday nights! How culturally insensitive of Whitey. Of course, if fried chicken was always available, the PC loons running the union would complain that Whitey is trying to kill the black folks with cholesterol! No word on whether or not the hyper-sensitive kiddies are also offended at watermelon not being available year round, but they are probably working on it. Also, my sources tell me that it is one of the union’s founding principles that hot sauce should be free, but only for students of a darker complexion.

They aren’t the only ones yelling “Oppression! Oppression! Aaaarghh!” though. Some Vietnamese students, such as some chick called Diep Nguyen are pissed off that Vietnamese food is not being served with baguettes, presumably because they are proud of their past as a French conquest! The delicate little flower also did not appreciate the coleslaw — “It was ridiculous,” Nguyen shrieked hysterically at some idiot from the school newspaper, before scarfing down a can of her country’s most popular traditional drink, Coca Cola. Yet others, such as Chinese dragon lady Prudence Hiu-Ying have whined that some weird thing called “General Tso’s chicken” is made using steamed rather than fried chicken (again with the fried chicken. Are hardened arteries the politically correct thing to have nowadays?) and carries the wrong sauce. It is a horror beyond comprehension, I’m sure… I’m starting to see why the Chinese prefer sons over daughters, by the way.

And then there’s the sushi. According to at least one Japanese lunatic, it does not contain anywhere near enough whale. Also the rice is undercooked, and the whale isn’t fresh enough, both of which are severe and unforgivable insults to both her ancestors and her culture. She also speculated that it may have been similar western insensitivity that led to the attack on Pearl Harbor. And the complaints aren’t limited to the blacks and the yellows, either. Suspiciously pale individual Harley “Big Billy” Moonshine, president of the Appalachian Students Union, complained that the college cafeteria doesn’t serve enough roadkill-based meals. “Dang, ah miss that there flattened possum more than I can tell ya! That and grits! Ain’t nothin’ like a big plate of flattened possum and grits, no sirree!” he complained to the school newspaper.

Next thing you know, there will be calls for pork and bacon to be banned because they aren’t Halal. That, I must say, I have no problem with.

PC continues its rampage here. And, yes, I too have noticed that most of the whining at the school paper seems to be the doing of women…