What is it with Ms Magazine and weird views on animals? First there was the bizarre rant on My Little Pony, and now some twit seems to think that it is somehow sexist or misogynist to use the simulated torture of a woman as part of a campaign against animal testing of cosmetics.

A cosmetics company called Lush set up a publicity stunt in which some folks in white coats pretended to carry out cosmetic testing on a young woman in a leotard, then used said stunt to attract attention to a petition against such practices. Apparently this would have been fine had the “test subject” been a male, but since she is a woman, the writer asks this rather easily answered question…

“But why must the stand-ins for tortured animals always be young women?”

Well, call me a misogynist if you must, but it may have something to do with  the fact that animals used in such unnecessary testing are being tortured on behalf of one sex in particular. Which sex could that be? Are there many men wearing all this garbage on their faces? Not outside of drag joints there aren’t, so the answer is clear — the fictional victims are female because the real victims are being tortured in the name of female vanity. Animals are suffering so that a bunch of shallow and superficial women can pretend to be hotties when they are in fact notties.

And here’s what really pisses me off  about animal testing — how the fuck does anyone come to the conclusion that women don’t already have more than enough of this crap? Why torture animals to test new cosmetics when we know from decades of women’s use that there are already hundreds of safe cosmetics on the market? Yes, that’s right, it’s our friends the corporate bastards again. Make the public want something new and useless, so that they will throw away the useless garbage they bought last year and replace it with some brand new crap. What it all adds up to is this…

Corporate Greed + Female Vanity = Bugs Bunny being tortured to death!

There’s a petition here, and below is the video. Believe it or not, the gals at Ms “could barely finish watching the video.” Christ, these are probably the kind of women who faint when they watch the movie Gremlins! And that’s just when Gizmo is on the screen — soon as the gnarly title characters make their appearance, these latter day suffragettes burst into tears and run to the nearest police station!

 

Somewhere out there in the dark underbelly of the internet lurks a large, slug-like creature whose integrity, intellectual honesty and connection to reality make Glenn Beck look like Noam Chomsky. Who is this creature, this stalker that bedevils the men’s rights movement on an almost daily basis with his irrational and unjustified attacks on those of us who dare to speak up on behalf of The Second Sex ?

Why, it’s none other than a rancid sack of shit called David Futrelle, host and perpetrator of Manboobz, a site that trumpets as its catchphrase the highly imaginative “Misogyny. I Mock It”

Given that this grotesquely dishonest blog is run by a humongously fat tub of lard, it really should be called “Manboobz – I has them.” Seriously, how stupid does a fat man have to be to call his blog Man Boobs! But the offensive thing about Dirtbag Dave isn’t that he looks like a giant gastropod with a cheesy beard. No, the offensive thing is his character. Dave is the kind of man whose entire life seems to be about two things – mocking and lying. I suspect he is so keen on the former because it makes him feel better about being an abomination with the body of a slug and the face of a three toed sloth, and that he is enamored of the latter because he is intellectually incapable of nothing else.

 

Recently, The Boob took exception to my posting a piece at the Men’s Rights subreddit in which some feminist nut whines about the egregiousness of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic, claiming that the kid’s show is racist, homophobic, yada yada. After getting his well-padded ass kicked at the aforementioned forum, poor Dave went crying to his supporters with a post in which he attacked me and the other blokes. I’ve  screencapped the entire thing in case the dishonest fuck changes his post later on.  Oh, and in case you’re wondering what the heck a “Brony” is, it’s what some male fans of the show like to call themselves. Go figure…

Notice that he doesn’t get around to saying why the post shouldn’t have been made, he simply complains about its existence. Now, my post in no way claimed that the moron who wrote the piece was representative of all or even most feminists, so the mostly sensible comments at Ms are not relevant, nor is Faust’s rebuttal. As I point out in the first comment posted at reddit, my reason for posting was to provide an example of why satire often goes undetected …

“I swear, you can not make this shit up. See, this is why satire often goes over people’s heads here — it’s often less goofy than serious feminist opinion.”

But that doesn’t matter to someone of Futtrelle’s low character. No, what matters is that one of his beloved feminists has been attacked, and he will use this as an excuse to mock Men’s Rights Advocates even though he actually agrees with us on this one! The man’s lack of intellectual honesty is astounding. I can just see Dave back in High School. He was probably one of those kids who would mock you by pointing out in a sarcastic tone how smart or talented you were. You know, the kind of kid who doesn’t need a reason to hate and yet wonders why the girls ignore him and the jocks sneer at him.

As for my attack on him personally, it was prompted by this comment…

“Did you read any of the comments? The Ms. Blog readers thought the post was ridiculous.”

In a typical act of intellectual dishonesty, Dave describes this as a “straightforward” comment. It is of course no such thing, it is a red herring, an irrelevance that has nothing to do with the purpose of my post. This, and his other behavior at other times, is the reason for my expression of disgust. And here is another reason to hold this sack of shit in contempt — he isn’t just a liar, he’s a content thief. Here is one of my cartoons in its entirety, uploaded to Imgur by him or one of his cronies, and linked to from this post.

It’s a “terrible, terrible comic strip”, yet apparently good enough to steal…

But  The Boob is not alone in his idiocy, at least some of his commenters seem to live in some sort of bizarre parallel universe. As you read the following comments, keep in mind that all these examples come from just one of his posts – I can only assume that if there are a few nuggets to be found in one post, the entire site must be a mother lode of commenting idiocy.

First we have “Manjaw the Mighty” blithering about the children’s show at the centre of this teacup, a show which dares to have a supposedly retarded character dubbed “Derpy” by the fans. Here is the offending critter…

 

 

Awww, I think she’s adorable! But “Manjabber the Lame,” seems to think poor little Derpy is part of some sort of patriarchal conspiracy against the mentally disabled! She is so hilariously politically correct that she even goes so far as to eschew the word “retarded” in favor of the term “r-word!”

“Manjaw the Mighty | May 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Even though I personally will always think of the character as “Derpy,” the word is offensive because it totally does make fun of people with intellectual disabilities. I wouldn’t say it’s as bad as the r-word, but it’s not appropriate for a children’s show. “Ditzy Doo” is honestly just as bad. Derpy’s canon name should be innocuous. Something to do with bubbles, perhaps. If the writers actually made her the “mail mare” as bronies imagine her, and call her Bubble Wrap, I feel like that could be a compromise to make everyone happy.

And in case anyone is inclined to question why a might Amazon warrior is a brony, I’ll have you know that the show does a wonderful job of introducing little girls to the joys of a matriarchal society.”

What to make of the bit about the matriarchy? Hell, I don’t know, I’m not a psychiatrist! Maybe it’s a joke, or maybe it’s yet another example of how difficult it is to tell satire from genuine feminist idiocy.

And wouldn’t you know it, here is someone called “Rutee Katreya “arguing that not only The Pigster but also The Boob are wrong – the entire thing is a racist plot, after all!

“Rutee Katreya | May 9, 2012 at 4:37 am

All of which is besides why I mentioned it: MLP:FIM, which I do legitimately love, had some racist shit, which is why I thought it was inaccurate to say that the article couldn’t be more wrong about everything; its central premise is correct, the show does really racist stuff sometimes.”

Someone calling themselves “Jar” tells us that MRAs are against girls being allowed to be girls in different ways, so much so that we can’t possibly enjoy the show. I suppose the implication is that we think all the wiminz should be barefoot, pregnant and chained to the sink…

“Jar | May 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

So I guess that MRA bronies don’t realize that Lauren Fasut, the (former) executive producer of the show is a feminist who used the show to create quality entertainment for girls and show that there are many different ways to be a girl?

I don’t understand how an MRA could enjoy MLP.”

 

Here is someone who fancies herself enough to steal the name of the heroine from The Hunger Games posting a link implying that we want female suffrage done away with. If this isn’t what is being implied, why post it in relation to a discussion on MRAs on an Anti-Men’s Rights site?

“Katniss | May 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I found something interesting that would fit right in here on manboobz earlier today. A man who was recently a guest on Fox News talking about how the worst mistake the U.S. made was giving women the vote, how women are all crazy and irrational, and how women “have no love”:

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/07/fox-news-contributor-laments-mistake-of-letting-women-vote/”

And here we have a small brained twit with the appropriate moniker “Pollywog” spewing that good old stand-by about all MRAs wanting Stepford Wives…

“Polliwog | May 9, 2012 at 2:18 am

Is there such a thing as a character trait that doesn’t make MRAs froth at the mouth when done by women?

I mean, maybe if “is literally a robot programmed to do nothing but exactly what you want at any given moment” counts as a “character trait,” that might qualify, but at this point I’m unconvinced that MRAs wouldn’t find a way to complain about how that robot bitch won’t run properly unless you buy the expensive batteries, which is MISANDRY.”

Another fine intellect we have here, folks. Apparently a character trait is now something you “do” not something you possess. Oh dear…

Now, wasn’t that fun, boys and girls? Yes, yes it was, and you can bet I’ll do it again in the near future. After all, if reasoned argument and evidence don’t work on these jackanapes, maybe good old fashioned mockery will — and even if it doesn’t it’s a lot more fun.

After much thought and consideration, I have decided that from next year we should start referring to Mother’s Day as “No To Infanticide Day,” or NTI-Day for short.

This needs to be done in order to call attention to the sad fact that most children who are killed by a parent are killed by their mother. While I  acknowledge that most women aren’t out there killing their kids, it should be clear to any right thinking individual that infanticide is a serious problem, and that the bad actions of a few women are more than enough justification for spoiling the entire day for all mothers.

Given the selfless nature of women in general and mothers in particular, I have no doubt that this idea will have the support of all mothers, who I am sure will be willing to put the safety of children over their own selfish need for attention and praise. I also expect that it will draw the support of celebrity mothers from the twin worlds of show business and politics, and that prominent women will be lining up to take part in online campaigns — with a little luck we may even be able to get Oprah Winfrey to do a few TV commercials.

Another thing I would like to see happening on NTI Day is women wearing bracelets and shirts bearing inscriptions such as “I pledge to not smother my toddler,” and “I swear not to microwave the baby.” I realize that some oversensitive individuals will object to this on the grounds that promising not to do something implies that you are capable of doing it to begin with, but such naysayers are merely immature “women” who will hopefully be ignored by their more highly evolved sisters. It would also be helpful to have a few NTI-Day marches to highlight the problem. Women who are mothers, or who are planning to some day become mothers, would march down the main street bearing placards and banners with slogans such as “Only women can stop Infanticide” and “I am a potential child-killer.” Each march would terminate in a large public space such as a town square or a park, where the assembled women would, in unison, recite the NTI-Day Pledge. Of course, the ultimate wording of the pledge is up to women themselves, but I suggest something along these lines….

“I hereby pledge to never do nasty things like slamming a carving knife through a five year old’s skull, feeding a noisy newborn to the neighbor’s pitbull, or throwing my toddler into a woodchipper. Nor shall I condone such actions when carried out by other women, and if I am witness to such actions I promise to call the police as soon as is convenient.”

I realize this will be a controversial idea to many, but I have faith that, after some discussion, the mothers of the world will decide to do the right thing and dedicate their special day to the eradicating of all forms of violence against children.