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Michele Bachmann is a Message from God

Michele Bachmann is a Message from God published on 1 Comment on Michele Bachmann is a Message from God

Far right Christian Looney Toon Michele Bachmann claims that the recent earthquake (I didn’t even know they’d had one, so we aren’t exactly talking Japan here) and hurricane in the eastern US are messages from God telling Americans that, since they haven’t already suffered enough disasters, they should put a dominionist in the Oval Office.

I know the batty bitch says this crap with a smile on her face, but then plenty of people make jests in all seriousness, and given her radical religious views I think it more likely than not that she means it. Worse yet, I am damn (sorry, I meant darn) sure that Bachmann knows that’s  how her deranged followers are taking it.

If  Bachmann wasn’t such a thickie I might think that there was also a subtext here about god hating liberals, as the east coast is just crawling with those dastardly rats. As it is, I doubt she even knows what a subtext is, much less how to use one.

Does Bachmann stand any real chance of getting her party’s nomination? No. Does she stand a good chance of helping fellow nutball Rick Perry to get it by making him look more moderate by comparison? Yes, yes she does.

God Wants Michelle Bachmann In The White House!

God Wants Michelle Bachmann In The White House! published on

At least that’s the conclusion we can draw from CNN reports that the far right Republican who wants to do away with the minimum wage and Social Security (or at least what passes for it in the U.S ) has formed an exploratory committee to find out if there are enough idiots in America to put her finger on the button.

Even though the rancid little dwarf hasn’t actually credited God with her decision, she has previously told the loons at World Net Daily that when it comes to putting her oval office in the oval office…

“If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it. When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That’s really my standard.”

And no, the crazy lady isn’t speaking figuratively, having earlier explained her run for congress….

“And then in the midst of that calling, God then called me to run for the United States Congress. And I thought, ‘what in the world would that be for?’”

What for indeed…

Having spoken to the big guy in person I can tell you that he may be a bit of a bastard but he’s no idiot. So why would he want the world being ruled by an evil woman whose head leaves a trail of sawdust wherever she goes?

My guess is that if the Angry Old Man in the Sky has indeed told Bachmann to go for the big brass ring, it’s just another sign of how absurd his sense of humor is. After all, this is the guy who created the platypus, Dan Quayle, and of course, Michelle Bachmann.

More here.

Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch! published on

Well, well, it looks as if devout Christian and anti-wanking crusader Christine O’Donell has held beliefs even more questionable than her current ones about the Angry Old Man In The Sky.

On Bill Maher’s old show “Politically Incorrect” the semi-literate O’Donnel informs us that she “dabbled into (sic) witchcraft” and even held a midnight picnic on a satanic altar! Of course what witches and Satan have to do with one another is anyone’s guess, but one can’t expect much from her ilk…

Incidentally, I believe that the man sitting next to her is gay horror writer Clive Barker, and the other woman looks like Poppy Z Brite, a New Orleans horror writer who once described herself as a gay man trapped in a woman’s body!

Yet who comes across as the weirdo? The Christian girl! Makes you wonder just how much freakiness lies behind the Republicans’ Rockwellian façade, don’t it?

Now, I don’t think this teenage experimentation says much about O’Donell’s character, nor do I think it calls her current beliefs into question, but it sure is funny! I especially like her insistence that she didn’t join a coven, having as it does shades of Bill Clinton’s claims that he may have smoked pot, but he never actually inhaled…



Hot Brainy Chick Persecuted by Loony Christians

Hot Brainy Chick Persecuted by Loony Christians published on

A Polish pop singer with the unlikely handle of Dorota Rabczewska (thankfully she is better known as Doda, presumably because even the other Poles can’t pronounce her surname) is looking down the barrel of a two year jail sentence for having offended Christian sensibilities by suggesting their favorite page turner was written by drug-addled winos! And you thought the weasels at NOW were overly sensitive.

The 26 year old Mensan made a television appearance during which she explained that the dinosaur view of history was better supported than the idea that the universe was created in six days by The Angry Old Man Who Lives In The Sky….

“it is hard to believe in something written by people who drank too much wine and smoked herbal cigarettes.”

Not exactly a cartoon of the prophet Mohamed with a bomb in his turban, but in Catholic Poland it was close enough so the wankers had her charged under the country’s Draconian blasphemy laws.

According to  some man-child too weak to get through life without kidding himself that after it’s all over he’s going to spend eternity drinking tea and watering houseplants in god’s mansion…

“It is clear that Doda thinks that the Bible was written by drunkards and junkies,” Ryszard Nowak, chairman of the ironically named Christian group “Committee for the Defence Against Sects” screamed hysterically whilst rending his garments and gnashing his teeth.

“I believe that she committed a crime and offended the religious feelings of both Christians and Jews.”

Either that or she made a slightly offensive joke. And as for offending the Jews I don’t see them filing charges, perhaps because  after centuries of persecution and inquisitions they are wary of  Christian nutters.

Though I see no point in making references to booze and weed when going on about whoever it was that wrote the bible, neither do I believe in writing laws that allow fundamentalist loons to play Christian Taliban, so let me put aside my usually tactful and diplomatic ways and say it straight – people who take the bible literally are idiots, weaklings and fools. Either that or drug-addled winos.


I think she should get a pass just for being proof that not all smart women are ugly.

More here.