… where you go to church or you go to jail.
Or to be more accurate, where you go to church instead of jail.
The Alabama city of Bay Minette has put in place a program which allows misdemeanor offenders to choose between jail and a fine, or a year of weekly church attendance. The ROC (get it? Bit of Christian humor there.) program will purportedly achieve two things. One is a reduction in the costs associated with running the hoosegow, the other is the supposed rehabilitation of the miscreants in question. While this is all a bit of a worry and can be seen as a way of coercing people into being brainwashed into voting for the religious loons on the Right, it does do away with jail sentences for minor crims, an unexpectedly civilized step for any country, much less the one with the highest proportion of its citizens behind bars.
Personally, I don’t care about crestfallen preachers, but I suspect these guys will be disappointed in how transient the faith of their new congregates will be. One year of spouting pious claptrap about the Angry Old Man in the Sky, then it’s back to stealing cars while smoking dope and bargaining with the local hookers!
And check out the preacher who claims that people who “fall in love” with Jesus are a help not an injury to society! Because as we’ve seen from the crusades, to the inquisition, to George W and to Anders Breivik, if there is one factor that will prevent an individual from fucking shit up, it’s having a thing for the J-Man.
Cheech and Chong do hard time here
Far right Christian Looney Toon Michele Bachmann claims that the recent earthquake (I didn’t even know they’d had one, so we aren’t exactly talking Japan here) and hurricane in the eastern US are messages from God telling Americans that, since they haven’t already suffered enough disasters, they should put a dominionist in the Oval Office.
I know the batty bitch says this crap with a smile on her face, but then plenty of people make jests in all seriousness, and given her radical religious views I think it more likely than not that she means it. Worse yet, I am damn (sorry, I meant darn) sure that Bachmann knows that’s how her deranged followers are taking it.
If Bachmann wasn’t such a thickie I might think that there was also a subtext here about god hating liberals, as the east coast is just crawling with those dastardly rats. As it is, I doubt she even knows what a subtext is, much less how to use one.
Does Bachmann stand any real chance of getting her party’s nomination? No. Does she stand a good chance of helping fellow nutball Rick Perry to get it by making him look more moderate by comparison? Yes, yes she does.
At least that’s the conclusion we can draw from CNN reports that the far right Republican who wants to do away with the minimum wage and Social Security (or at least what passes for it in the U.S ) has formed an exploratory committee to find out if there are enough idiots in America to put her finger on the button.
Even though the rancid little dwarf hasn’t actually credited God with her decision, she has previously told the loons at World Net Daily that when it comes to putting her oval office in the oval office…
“If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it. When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That’s really my standard.”
And no, the crazy lady isn’t speaking figuratively, having earlier explained her run for congress….
“And then in the midst of that calling, God then called me to run for the United States Congress. And I thought, ‘what in the world would that be for?’”
What for indeed…
Having spoken to the big guy in person I can tell you that he may be a bit of a bastard but he’s no idiot. So why would he want the world being ruled by an evil woman whose head leaves a trail of sawdust wherever she goes?
My guess is that if the Angry Old Man in the Sky has indeed told Bachmann to go for the big brass ring, it’s just another sign of how absurd his sense of humor is. After all, this is the guy who created the platypus, Dan Quayle, and of course, Michelle Bachmann.