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“Help, rape ape on the loose!”

“Help, rape ape on the loose!” published on

Can this one really be real? Has the sexual assault hysteria gotten this bad? Hey, that story about Ms Piggy being given a feminist award turned out to be true, so stranger things have happened.

A British woman holidaying in Gibraltar has apparently tried to have a monkey charged with sexually assaulting her after the lascivious bastard felt her up and pulled off her bikini!

Seems the poor creature ( the woman, not the monkey ) was busy throwing peanuts when two monkeys, no doubt drunk on their patriarchal power and sense of entitlement, started pulling at her clothing and hair…

“I felt totally helpless as these two monkeys grabbed and pawed me in my most intimate areas… Then, with a yank, one of them pulled my bikini top straight off… I was being sexually assaulted and these people all thought it was a great joke,” she screeched hysterically, before launching into a rambling discourse on the possibility that the monkeys may, in fact, be shape-shifting lizard people.

The woman, whose name is Melissa Hart ( yeah, rather like the actress who played Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, which is one reason I suspect this story may contain more bull than it does monkey ) then insisted on calling the police. On their arrival the police, with typical patriarchal callousness towards victims of sexual assault, refused to charge the offending monkeys, citing the ludicrous idea that animals can’t be held responsible for any crime. But, as we all know, that’s just patriarchal code for “Women don’t matter!”

No news on whether the woman, having failed in seeking a criminal prosecution, will try to gain redress by suing the monkey in question.

Degenerate simian here

Canadian Moron Becomes Feminist Hero

Canadian Moron Becomes Feminist Hero published on

The internet is celebrating today after having found its latest feminist role model, some knuckleheaded, moose-humping lesbian who decided to turn her high school yearbook into a lame piece of propaganda with this ludicrous claim…

“I need feminism because I intend on marrying rich and I can’t do that if my wife and I are making .75 cent for every dollar a man makes.”

… blithered microcephalic sapphist Caitlyn Cannon to the delight of other pinheads on Twitter, a site which is now seen as some sort of legitimate news source. Sooner or later the NYTimes will do an article on the lizard people claiming as its source the pea-brained denizens of Twitter, it’s just a matter of time now.

But back to the matter at hand. Take a close look at that quote. Not only does the young fool parrot the long-discredited idea that the wiminz get paid less than the men but she does it in a way suggesting she went to a US school rather than a Canadian one. Now, I am no mathematician but I am pretty sure that the dot just before the 75 means something along the lines of “three quarters of a cent”! I mean, unlike Caitlyn I haven’t just left high school, but that’s how I remember it. Maybe math has been changed to suit feminist tastes since the eighties — god knows everything else has.

And check out the fawning at the CBC article. “Powerful”? Since when does the word denote a prosaic idea, unimaginatively expressed? Since feminism, of course. Any feminist statement, no matter how hackneyed or untrue, is “powerful” because it gets out the “right” message and makes the troglodytes who dominate the movement feel good about themselves.

As for the statement’s primary claim, assuming the semi-literate woman-child really meant 75 cents per dollar, it all boils down to women not doing equal work. Want equal pay? Work the same hours as the men, in the same dirty, physically hard, physically dangerous jobs as the men do. Problem solved.

Feminist math here.

Ashley Judd Digs Deep

Ashley Judd Digs Deep published on

Unfortunately, what she is digging is a grave for her tiny brain. Recently, the lukewarm actress complained of being sworn at after expressing some opinion or other about one of those things where a bunch of men throw their balls at one another.

Now, she’s gone all the way to writing an article for some site or other in which she expands on one set of unproven claims with a second set of unproven claims and throws in a lot of feminist tripe just for the hell of it.

While a reasonable person knows that the internet is full of these things called trolls, who like to make people unhappy just for the lolls, Judd claims it’s all because she’s a wiminz. Her being an actress and all, I give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s dumb rather than dishonest when she claims it’s all some sort of patriarchal thing rather than a bunch of jerks going after a soft target. But what really gets me about this whole thing is her insistence that what she experienced is “gender-based violence.”

This latter is a fine example of both Hollywood idiocy and of the dangerous and stealthy way in which feminism redefines terms to suit its own aims. If the idea takes hold that calling someone a nasty name is a type of violence, why would it not eventually become something that can land you in jail? After all, it’s violence and we all know violent people belong in jail. This is dangerous and contemptible even if one does not look further – if one does, then it gets even scarier. If calling Judd a whore is violence, why shouldn’t it be violence to call Obama or Cheney scumbags? Assuming she’s a Democrat (as safe an assumption as one can make, I would wager) she has probably referred to many Republican politicians by all sorts of colorful names. This means, by her own standards, that she has committed acts of violence and should therefore be the subject of police reports the same way her trolls are. She is also claiming that she was threatened with rape, but as she gives no evidence of that I am not taking it seriously. Funny, huh? The most serious charge she has to make and no evidence provided. She has caps of people being mean to her, but does not bother to give us caps of the so-called rape threats. And even if such threats were made, they are not violence, either – just the kind of meaningless threat one sees on the internet all the time. Being a rabid feminist weasel, Judd uses the article to go on about all sorts of claptrap, such as the “what was the rape victim wearing” thing, something which I have only ever seen happen in the minds of deranged feminist weasels. I’m sure it does occasionally happen, but it is so uncommon that I have never actually been witness to that particular bit of stupidity – and god knows i’ve seen plenty of stupidity. Which brings us back to the knuckle-dragging halfwit who wrote the piece, a piece in which she, ironically, complains of being called dumb while also doling out howlers such as these…

“in which my genitals, vaginal and anal, should…”
“an attempted oral rape by yet another adult man.”

That’s right, folks, Ashley Judd, a woman who objects to being called stupid and who thinks her opinions matter, thinks her asshole is part of her genitals! Good thing she never had children. As for “adult man,” what other kind is there? Is the definition of “man” not “an adult, male human”? It is in my world. Let’s face it, anyone this hilariously stupid should not be allowed to write on anything of substance. Indeed, it pretty much makes me wish that sport was the only thing she blabbed about.

Idiocy here.

Ana Kasparian from The Young Turds Justifies Violence Against Boys

Ana Kasparian from The Young Turds Justifies Violence Against Boys published on

Already infamous in MRA circles for her charming tale of how she kicked some boy off his bike then kicked the shit out of him for having slapped her ass, this lame-brained twat of a woman has just put out a video specifically intended to tell us how thoroughly justified her actions were!

Not surprisingly, the thing is loaded with feminist bullshit such as claiming that the boy “violated her” by slapping her ass, something that is meant to conjure up an emotional response that rightly belongs with rape, not with a very mild sexual assault. She also claims the slap left her with “tears in her eyes,” which can be taken to mean that the little fucker has a slap like a Mike Tyson haymaker or, more likely, that he did her some very severe emotional damage, possibly even resulting in a case of PTSD which to this day causes her to have flashbacks every time she sees a tricycle!

She also keeps going on about a power imbalance, while failing to mention that the “guy” in question was 14 years old! Seems to me that, unless he was an especially large 14 year old, that power balance was very small and possibly even in her favor! That, of course, is why the dishonest little dirtbag does not mention the male’s age – she wants us to picture the average American man at around 5’10 and 190 lbs! How do I know the little hoon’s age? Because she has, in the past, admitted it. But I guess since then she has realized it was a mistake to do so…

She also spends a lot of time going on about “defending herself,” something which is clearly a misrepresentation meant to make the boy look like a would-be rapist, despite there being no indications that he was going to do anything that went past the disrespectful. As I see it, the most she could have justifiably done is knock him off the bike and tell him off, kicking him once he was down was clearly excessive by most legal standards. And let’s not forget — we don’t know that he did any of this shit! Maybe she was in a bad mood and he looked at her the wrong way! But even by her own account, he committed a mild sexual assault, she committed assault and battery, so it’s pretty obvious who the thug in this scenario is. As for comparisons to Ray Rice, she is right in that they are unwarranted — Ray Rice didn’t kick his fiancĂ©e once she was down!

Brave Principal Saves School From Male Menace

Brave Principal Saves School From Male Menace published on

Nine year old thug-in-the-making Aiden Steward has been suspended from his school by its female head after she found out the little bastard had brought a home-made pipe bomb to class and threatened to “Blow all your bitch asses sky high!” Heroically, Principal Roxanne Greer knocked the kid unconscious with her handbag and then threw herself on the bomb, hoping to absorb the imminent blast. Kids being a bit inept at bomb-making, it turns out the bomb contained no actual explosives and consisted primarily of empty juice boxes and Barbie doll heads. Nonetheless, I commend this brave woman for her heroic intentions and promise to never again call women “a bunch of whiny wankers.”

Aiden Steward, seen here preparing to blow up his little sister.

Of course, that’s not how things really went down. In another fine display of PC-fueled misandry gone apeshit, the fool running the Kermit Elementary School in Frog’s Ass, Texas, suspended the boy after he playfully told a classmate that he could make him vanish using a magic ring like the one in The Hobbit. And by “vanish” he probably meant “make invisible,” but the person in charge – almost certainly Greer, as it is, to the best of my knowledge, the principal who has the final word on these things – chose to see it instead as, wait for it, a terroristic threat! That’s right, folks, Al Qaeda is now sending kiddie terrorists into Amerikan schools armed with magic rings and copies of the Necronomicon – it’s no coincidence that the latter was written by a mad Arab, you know!

When the little boy’s dad asked the school what was going on he was told by the principal, the aforementioned pinhead Roxanne Greer, that magical threats would not be tolerated and that she would say no more because “All student stuff is confidential.” Stuff? I’m surprised she didn’t add, “Like, you know.”

This isn’t some one-off either. The kid has previously been suspended for referring to another student as “black” – this being Texas, the politically correct term is presumably “nigger” – and for, shock! horror!, bringing something called the Big Book of Knowledge to school, because the last thing you want kids in a learning environment to be exposed to is knowledge!

This is clearly a case of PC thuggery, and of a small-minded person being allowed way too much power, but it also smells of anti-male bias. Would a girl be suspended for such peccadilloes? Unlikely. Let’s face it, a girl this age could probably go around school threatening to turn people into frogs, and if anyone suggested suspending her they would have the ACLU complaining that they were oppressing Wiccans!

Sources
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/texas-boy-suspended-bringing-ring-power-school-article-1.2099103

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/feb/1/texas-boy-9-suspended-for-threatening-to-use-hobbi/

http://www.oaoa.com/news/education/article_6b47c224-a8d2-11e4-8989-1f5b0d13dadd.html