Skip to content

Man jailed for thinking of cheeseburgers

Man jailed for thinking of cheeseburgers published on

Homeless man Michael McLaughlin was arrested and thrown into jail for, wait for it –holding up a piece of cardboard on which had been scrawled the grossly offensive sentence  “I’m Thinking Of A Cheeseburger”. What a bastard!

Apparently such behavior is considered a form of begging and is therefore against the law, especially for homeless people with built-in hot dogs. According to the article, the law states that one has to a “force oneself upon the company of another” for this to be illegal, yet all this guy seems to have been doing is standing by the road holding up a sign  so it could be argued that strictly speaking he wasn’t violating the law.

And even if he had been, what the hell kind of asshole makes begging illegal? Not only is it inhumane, but it probably increases the chances that the homeless will commit crimes just in order to eat, but hey that’s even better – you can give them longer sentences for theft than for mere begging!

As it is, the  enforcers settled for unlawful solicitation and demanded a $500 bond, which it  is safe to say McLaughlin can’t afford to pay or he wouldn’t be begging for cheeseburgers!

Found it as I often do, at the Weekly Vice

Go Home, Ya Mug!

Go Home, Ya Mug! published on

Are you the kind of twit who likes to work for free? Probably not, at least you don’t like to do so, but if you are an Australian worker there’s a 50% chance that you are doing exactly that.

According to progressive think tank The Australia Institute, about half of Australia’s workforce is giving their bosses more work hours than they are paid for. For a full time worker, most of whom of course sport wangs, this averages out to 70 minutes of free labor every day, and more than six weeks of extra gravy for the boss every year!

Obviously the occasional bit of unpaid overtime is no problem, it’s when a business actually relies on the unpaid hours as part of  a covert business plan that it becomes exploitative of those who work, while denying new jobs to those still seeking employment. To combat this egregious exploitation the Institute has declared November the 25th to be “Go Home On Time Day”, a day on which you can tell the greedy bastards to get stuffed and go home at 5pm like you’re supposed to, not at 6 or 7 because he/she is too money-grubbing to hire extra help.

According to the Institute’s Josh Fear, the Australian worker’s unpaid overtime adds up to a “subsidy” of $72 Billion per year, gratis, from you to the guy with the Porsche, the trophy wife and the house in Vaucluse, or Toorak, or wherever it is rich bastards live in QLD…

It’s time to put an end to this bizarre Alice in Wonderland situation! If you must insist on working more than the traditional 40 hours a week, then at least make sure you’re not giving it away for free. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with a little hard work, but if you’re doing it for free, you’re a mug.

Official website here

Article here.

The High Cost of Health Care.

The High Cost of Health Care. published on

Bill Caudle has joined the U.S army – not out of misguided patriotism or a desire to wear a fancy uniform, but so his wife could get chemotherapy for her cancer.

Caudle’s 20 year job went out the window a few months ago, and with it his health coverage, so the 39 year old decided the only thing to do was join the army, which offers recruits health insurance. So now Bill Caudle will be gone for four years, he’ll miss his daughter’s graduation, and he may come back in a body-bag or  a wheelchair,  but that’s what happens when you live in a country that doesnt give a fiuck.

More here.

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe published on

In the recent headlong rush to blame all the world’s financial woes on the evil that is maleness, one interesting fact has been lost in the hubbub – It’s mostly the fault of a woman called Blythe Masters.

Masters, who hails from the same clod of soil as Harriet Harman, is apparently an even greater monster, having been the creatrix of a thingy called Credit Default Swaps, a weird financial thingamajig which was once referred to by Warren Buffet as a financial weapon of mass destruction, and which is apparently the main cause of all these woes. As you may have gleaned by now i am not exactly a financial wizard,  so don’t be askin’ me for an explanation as to how all this works – the writer of the article linked below tries to explain it and gets some positive comments on said explanation, but I personally didn’t get it! Perhaps not surprising given that when in high school the only subject I ever sucked at was math…

Blythe Masters learnt how to sew body parts together at Cambridge University, and got her lab, electricity supply and a hunchbacked personal assistant named Igor from those great humanitarians at JP Morgan. Masters was also once quoted as saying that her fiduciary nonesuch was the equivalent of  “a free lunch,”  something which of course, unless you are a food critic, simply doesn’t exist.

When called out by The Guardian on her creation’s destructive effects on the economy, our female Frankenstein replied blithely (sorry, but I couldn’t resist)…

“I do believe CDSs [credit default swaps] have been miscast, much as poor workmen tend to blame their tools.”

Which I take it is the business equivalent of “Credit Default Swaps don’t kill people, people with Credit Default Swaps kill people.”

More here.

Thanks to pjanus for the heads up on this enlightening article.

Evil Clown Alert!

Evil Clown Alert! published on

In the U.K, children’s entertainers such as clowns and magicians will soon be required to enter their names into a database, just in case they turn out to be child molesters.

These guys already have to undergo checks by the Criminal Records Bureau, checks that can cost as much as ÂŁ60, and now under another initiative which goes into effect in October, they will have to fork out another ÂŁ64 to add their names to a second database administered by the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA).

It is expected that within five years there will be over 11 million names on this database, supposedly to protect kiddies from evil clowns, but i see it as nothing more than another  way to stigmatize men by portraying all men who work with children as potential predators – after all is there a similar scheme for female-dominated areas like child care and nursing? Let’s guess…

Found it at IFeminists, the only feminists that aren’t evil clowns.