Skip to content

Posts authored by The Pigman

Interpol Alert Issued for Tomato-Stealing Dirtbags!

Interpol Alert Issued for Tomato-Stealing Dirtbags! published on

Well, not really, but it’s still a bloody good sign of the times. While billionaire crooks get away with looting the global economy, three men in London are being charged with stealing food – from a dumpster! That’s right, it’s illegal to steal garbage. Nobody owns it, it’s going to end up in a landfill somewhere, yet it is illegal to take it. It’s a pity these men aren’t the rats that go through my rubbish bins – at least then they would have PETA on their side.

Seems last October three men living in a squat in London decided that the gnawing feeling in their guts wasn’t much fun, so they hopped over the wall of a supermarket’s yard and took a bunch of food from a skip, which is what the English call a dumpster (they do this to avoid confusion, as in England dumpster is slang for toilet). It wasn’t even fancy food, like caviar or truffles (mmmm… truffles…) it was just some tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese and some weird thing called Mr Kipling Cakes. After being caught, the criminal masterminds’ haul was returned to the supermarket, which, we can safely assume, promptly threw it back into the dumpster!

According to the scumbag authorities…

“…there is significant public interest in prosecuting these three individuals”.

This is how sick British society is becoming. These men did no harm, didn’t even cause any property damage, yet the trash in charge of the situation think it is in the public interest to lock them up for being poor and hungry. Can this be explained through anything other than sadism? Where is the gain otherwise? Unlike other forms of bastardry involving the poor there doesn’t seem to be anything of tangible value to gain from cases like this — it’s not like cutting welfare or education so more of the tax dollars can go into subsidizing the rich. It seems to be just a case of people in authority being bastards because they can be and a sign of how brutal and callous the Masters of Men truly are. As things get harder and harder for the common man, one would expect more leniency in such cases – but no, we would need to have actual human beings in power for shit like that to happen.

More here

 

Apparently, Roger Ailes is Somewhat Unpleasant

Apparently, Roger Ailes is Somewhat Unpleasant published on

Turns out the hideous land-whale who runs Fox News is not as cuddly and lovable as the people who host his channel’s shows. A new bio by some guy called Gabriel Sherman claims that Roger is basically running the Republican party, though he doesn’t like it very much (presumably they are too much like communists for his taste,) and that he has a panic room under his house in case there’s a zombie apocalypse. Sherman also claims that Ailes offered some female producer an extra one hundred dollars per week if she would have sex with him whenever he wanted! Eeeew! Sure, at his age that means once a year, but even that would be one time too many for anyone other than a senile manatee with a bad case of macular degeneration.

Also revealed is that Ailes is a fan of master Nazi propagandist Leni Riefenstahl and that the real reason Glenn Beck was fired from Fox was that Ailes kept challenging him to donut-eating contests which the younger man always managed to win.

As for an official response from Faux, this is what one of their spokespuppets had to say…

“While we have not read the book, the only reality here is that Gabe was not provided any direct access to Roger Ailes and the book was never fact-checked with Fox News.”

In other words “As is typical for Fox News, we are talking about something that we know nothing about.”

More here. It’s Alternet, so if you see anything on the sidebar to do with gender you had best ignore it.

 

Idiot Males Drool Over Atrocious Woman

Idiot Males Drool Over Atrocious Woman published on

Some chick called Alli Reed, apparently a comedian of some sorts, took to OkCupid and set up the kind of profile that she expected would have all the men puking. Instead, she got hundreds of responses from weak-brained men who were quite willing to overlook her inner hideousness and focus instead on her good looks. While I don’t find this piece amusing ( I rarely find anything on Cracked amusing ) it does tell us a lot about how high up on the list of priorities sex with a gorgeous woman is for some men.

Is this willingness to risk life and limb to get some hot soup a natural thing? No, of course not. Like beauty itself, it is mostly the doing of societal standards imposed for God knows what reason. It doesn’t really matter what  the motivation behind these bizarre standards is, what does matter is that it gets some men in a shitload of trouble, trouble they could easily have avoided if society did not teach them that life is all about scoring with the hot bird – even if she’s the kind who will fake a pregnancy!

Retards on the loose here

“No Tits, Please, we’re Swedish!”

“No Tits, Please, we’re Swedish!” published on

In an attempt to debunk the widespread notion that Sweden has  become an international joke, some rabid feminist weasel called Susanne Eberstein has decided that a rather fine painting depicting a slightly naked woman must be removed from the Swedish Parliament’s dining room!

G.E Schroder’s “Juno” has apparently offended the grotty-looking Eberstein by emphasizing how grossly unattractive she is. Face it – if you looked like this woman does you wouldn’t want to be standing underneath a painting of some luscious, creamy, female concoction would you? Like standing Rodney Dangerfield next to a painting of a bare-chested Brad Pitt — most unkind. Not to mention smelly, given how long old Rodders has been dead. And yet, I suspect Rodders smells sweeter than Eberstein does, at least on the figurative level.

At first, in their typically gynocentric fashion, the Swedish authorities made excuses for the aesthetically inferior by claiming that it was simply time for a new painting to take its place on the wall, but eventually the feminist in question, who is also – no doubt through some sort of affirmative action –  the deputy speaker of the parliament, made it clear that there was a more obvious reason for this act of censorship…

“I think it is more a feminist issue. It’s tiresome (looking at) a bare-breasted woman when I sit at public dinners with foreign guests. I think it feels a little hard to sit there with men who look at us women,” blithered Social Democrat Eberstein, while salivating her way through the latest issue of Hustler’s “Hot, Hung, and Young!”

The thing that amazes me about this line of thinking is that she would be under the impression that any man, either than one with severe macular degeneration, would be prompted by this…

…to think of this…

I’ve got news for you, my gorgon-headed friend, to most men you and this woman come from different planets. She comes from the planet Venus, and you come from the Planet Of The Sadly Deluded Middle-Aged Women.

Typical Swedish silliness here.

 

Primary Sidebar

Secondary Sidebar