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Scientist Claims Female Brain is Made of Cottage Cheese

Scientist Claims Female Brain is Made of Cottage Cheese published on

In an article to be published in next month’s issue of the prestigious Harvard Journal of
Medical Science, Dr. Jonathon Naylor reveals the astonishing findings of his latest
research into the differences between the male and female brains.

According to Dr. Naylor, a Professor of Neuro-science at Johns Hopkins, he and his team
spent several weeks examining the brains of over 1000 female volunteers using X-rays
and MRI imaging and were astonished to find not the expected brain tissue, but rather a
lumpy, curdy substance known to the layman as cottage cheese.

“We were astonished, “ the professor told our reporter. “Instead of actual brains, it seems
that the heads of virtually all women are filled with cottage cheese. It isn’t even high
quality, fancy, cottage cheese, but the cheap crap you buy at Wal-Mart when nobody you
know is looking.”

He continued, while helping his female assistant to figure out her left
hand from her right by teaching her that “L” thing usually reserved for small children,
“How women manage to get anything done with what amounts to no brains at all is a
great mystery. It does, however, finally explain certain noted female eccentricities such
as not being able to figure out how to turn on a light switch without help from the nearest

In our politically correct climate, the professor is quick to allay any fears of sexism. “I
should point out that, of course, this research does not apply to all females – just the
human ones.”