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Brave Principal Saves School From Male Menace

Brave Principal Saves School From Male Menace published on

Nine year old thug-in-the-making Aiden Steward has been suspended from his school by its female head after she found out the little bastard had brought a home-made pipe bomb to class and threatened to “Blow all your bitch asses sky high!” Heroically, Principal Roxanne Greer knocked the kid unconscious with her handbag and then threw herself on the bomb, hoping to absorb the imminent blast. Kids being a bit inept at bomb-making, it turns out the bomb contained no actual explosives and consisted primarily of empty juice boxes and Barbie doll heads. Nonetheless, I commend this brave woman for her heroic intentions and promise to never again call women “a bunch of whiny wankers.”

Aiden Steward, seen here preparing to blow up his little sister.

Of course, that’s not how things really went down. In another fine display of PC-fueled misandry gone apeshit, the fool running the Kermit Elementary School in Frog’s Ass, Texas, suspended the boy after he playfully told a classmate that he could make him vanish using a magic ring like the one in The Hobbit. And by “vanish” he probably meant “make invisible,” but the person in charge – almost certainly Greer, as it is, to the best of my knowledge, the principal who has the final word on these things – chose to see it instead as, wait for it, a terroristic threat! That’s right, folks, Al Qaeda is now sending kiddie terrorists into Amerikan schools armed with magic rings and copies of the Necronomicon – it’s no coincidence that the latter was written by a mad Arab, you know!

When the little boy’s dad asked the school what was going on he was told by the principal, the aforementioned pinhead Roxanne Greer, that magical threats would not be tolerated and that she would say no more because “All student stuff is confidential.” Stuff? I’m surprised she didn’t add, “Like, you know.”

This isn’t some one-off either. The kid has previously been suspended for referring to another student as “black” – this being Texas, the politically correct term is presumably “nigger” – and for, shock! horror!, bringing something called the Big Book of Knowledge to school, because the last thing you want kids in a learning environment to be exposed to is knowledge!

This is clearly a case of PC thuggery, and of a small-minded person being allowed way too much power, but it also smells of anti-male bias. Would a girl be suspended for such peccadilloes? Unlikely. Let’s face it, a girl this age could probably go around school threatening to turn people into frogs, and if anyone suggested suspending her they would have the ACLU complaining that they were oppressing Wiccans!