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Interpol Alert Issued for Tomato-Stealing Dirtbags!

Interpol Alert Issued for Tomato-Stealing Dirtbags! published on

Well, not really, but it’s still a bloody good sign of the times. While billionaire crooks get away with looting the global economy, three men in London are being charged with stealing food – from a dumpster! That’s right, it’s illegal to steal garbage. Nobody owns it, it’s going to end up in a landfill somewhere, yet it is illegal to take it. It’s a pity these men aren’t the rats that go through my rubbish bins – at least then they would have PETA on their side.

Seems last October three men living in a squat in London decided that the gnawing feeling in their guts wasn’t much fun, so they hopped over the wall of a supermarket’s yard and took a bunch of food from a skip, which is what the English call a dumpster (they do this to avoid confusion, as in England dumpster is slang for toilet). It wasn’t even fancy food, like caviar or truffles (mmmm… truffles…) it was just some tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese and some weird thing called Mr Kipling Cakes. After being caught, the criminal masterminds’ haul was returned to the supermarket, which, we can safely assume, promptly threw it back into the dumpster!

According to the scumbag authorities…

“…there is significant public interest in prosecuting these three individuals”.

This is how sick British society is becoming. These men did no harm, didn’t even cause any property damage, yet the trash in charge of the situation think it is in the public interest to lock them up for being poor and hungry. Can this be explained through anything other than sadism? Where is the gain otherwise? Unlike other forms of bastardry involving the poor there doesn’t seem to be anything of tangible value to gain from cases like this — it’s not like cutting welfare or education so more of the tax dollars can go into subsidizing the rich. It seems to be just a case of people in authority being bastards because they can be and a sign of how brutal and callous the Masters of Men truly are. As things get harder and harder for the common man, one would expect more leniency in such cases – but no, we would need to have actual human beings in power for shit like that to happen.

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