A Guest Post By My Manager, Michael Claymore.

I should point out that this is an edited version of a piece i have uploaded to various sites and cloud storage services. In the full piece, i mention the main officer’s full name as well as the locality of the store. This is done in case the thugs in question decide to escalate things and i end up in a hamburger somewhere. As for outing them publicly, Australia has some ridiculously tough defamation laws so i ain’t gonna. Also, the thugs in question know where i live. And they have guns. And i don’t. Heh.

I should also point out that no fists or bullets flew. This is an example of the kind of shit that cops pull on citizens every day, yet which never makes it onto YouTube because it is just not juicy enough.

So, i’m at a certain Coles store somewhere in Sydney. I come out, and am stopped by five cops in plain clothes. Seems someone claimed i stole something from Coles. Bad handling of a delicate situation by the assholes at Coles, especially given that the box i was seen putting in my bag was a box that i had brought in with me. Ooops, someone apparently has shit for brains. Anyway, the Stormtroopers of the Plutocracy interviewed me, searched me, found i had stolen a very large amount of nothing, and let me go, though not without some ill-feeling.

Unlike the one other time i have been stopped and questioned by the cops – for taking a walk late at night in my own neighborhood – this situation was not so civil. First, there was the sheer number of cops – five, from what i could see. Why so many cops are necessary to talk to one un-armed man accused of a non-violent crime i do not know – from what i have seen on the streets, usually it’s just two, so i can only guess that they were trying to be as intimidating as possible. Now, while i probably shouldn’t have called the shockingly fresh-faced thugs the “High School Squad,” this is what happens when someone with a tendency to handle conflict with humor is confronted by half a dozen armed young men. And call me crazy, but if one of these peach-fuzzed young thugs found himself surrounded by half a dozen armed bikies – especially if he himself was not in possession of a gun – he probably wouldn’t have gotten sarcastic, he would just have shit himself. Now here’s the thing. While the guy in charge, a bloke who claims to be a Constable X. ( i say “claims to be” because he showed me no ID with his name on it, just flashed a badge that could have come out of a Corn Flakes packet, for all i know ) was fairly civilized about things (that’s civilized for a cop, not for a normal human being) at least one of the younger cops called me a dickhead and a slob behind my back! It’s better than being shot while trying to pull your pants up, but is this really the kind of young man that we want becoming a police officer? Someone who tries to escalate rather than de-escalate the situation by openly insulting and taunting a civilian? I don’t think so. As he was not standing in front of me, i cannot say who the guilty party was, but he clearly does not belong on the force. I suspect that if he does stay on the force, he will one day make the front pages for all the wrong reasons. Like an Australian version of this guy…

Thanks to the way that cops regularly get away with cold-blooded murder – believe me, we have plenty of our own Mitch Brailsfords down here in Wombatland – my opinion of them was not high to begin with. Now it is even lower. Seems to me that partly by turning up in such unreasonably large numbers, and partly through verbal abuse, they were trying to provoke a situation in which they hoped i might freak out and do something “justifying” use of force. And here’s the main thing. Everyone always says “Oh, it’s a minority of bad apples!” But i didn’t see the guy in charge tell his underling to stop calling me a dickhead! No, he just turned the other way and is therefore complicit in the other cop’s behavior. Like it or not, this is probably how things go with much more serious cases of police misbehavior. One guy does the shooting, the others pretend it did not happen. This is why you hardly ever see a case where a cop outs another cop for brutality – it is always a citizen, usually one with a camera. And for every case where there is a member of the public with a camera, there are at least several that happen in dark alleys or deserted houses, in which someone gets shot dead by a trigger-happy psychopath in blue, and then gets a gun planted on his bullet-riddled corpse. Now, i have no way of knowing for certain if the cops who tried to turn this minor situation into something bigger are looking to fill citizens full of tax-payer-funded lead, but i am nonetheless pretty glad this all went down in front of dozens of witnesses.

I should also point out that they saw the hard drive and flash drive that i use to back up my drawings and writings and implied they might be full of child pornography! More of that typical combination of provocation, contempt and intimidation, you see. This grotesque thing was implied when one of the underlings asked Constable X, “You know what i’m thinking?” Yeah, Mr. Stormtrooper, we all know what you are thinking. One of them also asked if i was on a CPR, which according to Google stands for “Child Protection Register,” which is apparently a register for “persons convicted of a nominated violent or sexual offence against a child.” In other words, they question a guy who doesn’t properly respect their authoritah…

…and immediately suggest he is a fucking pedophile! Of course, since i wasn’t on the register they gave me everything back and – for now at least – my fetish for black women with inordinately large breasts remains a secret known only to myself and a few black women with inordinately large breasts. Now that i think about it, for all i know they cloned the drives behind my back and are now busy planting photos of disemboweled kittens all over said clones! As with the numbers and the swearing, this roundabout way of calling me a pedo also seems like an attempt to escalate the situation. After all, what are the chances that actual pedos are walking around malls with drives full of kiddy porn? The chances are very small, but a cop looking for trouble will grasp at anything – i should perhaps consider myself lucky that they didn’t shoot me dead for wearing the wrong brand of sneakers.

Like i suggested at the start, i ain’t Daniel Shaver, i am at the other end of the continuum – you know, the end that can still breathe – but this sad little incident does give us a glimpse of the shit that so many everyday folks have to put up with from the bully boys with the licenses to kill. For me, this is the first time i ran into a pig who acted like a real swine, but there are ‘hoods where such behavior is an almost daily occurrence. Places where people – mostly males, and many of them in possession of too much melanin – get harassed, humiliated, and provoked so regularly that when one of the piggies gets a bullet upside the head from the friendly neighborhood drug lord, all the folks can do is cheer. It may not be pretty to see such actions cheered – especially when it’s not usually one of the deadlier pigs getting slaughtered – but i can sure as fuck see where the anger comes from. As for me, i ain’t about to go postal over such a minor incident, but the next time i see a cop surrounded by thugs from one of the rival gangs, i will just keep a-walkin’. Hell, i won’t even waste my money calling him an ambulance.

Michael Claymore
The Pigman’s Manager and, apparently, a dangerous criminal.
Sydney, Australia
21 December, 2017