Once upon a time, the cat tribe and the weasel tribe lived harmoniously in a great big forest. It was a very dark forest, but luckily the weasels had created a magical sun made up of a transparent glass sphere, a small cranking machine, and a lot of wishful thinking. Thanks to the magical sun machine, even on the cloudiest of days and the darkest of nights, the cats and the weasels could all go about their business without running into trees and rocks or falling into the stream, something the cats were especially unfond of.

For a long, long time everything was fine and dandy in the big, dark forest. Then a faction of radical cats rose up and said that all the weasels were bad, egregious, and downright horrible and must be driven out of the forest. “We find you offensive, unacceptable and terribly oppressive. Take your weasel selves and your weasely ways and leave our forest!”

And so the weasels, somewhat miffed at their treatment, left the forest and took their weasely ways and their magical sun machine with them. And soon the cats were stumbling around in the dark, stubbing their little kitty toesies on fallen trees and nasty rocks, tumbling into the stream on a regular basis, and cursing those awful, selfish weasels for having gone away.

As for the weasels, they found a new forest just as big and just as dark as the old one. True, they now had to make their own sandwiches, but anybody who can make a magical sun machine can certainly learn to make sandwiches! And so the weasels lived happily ever after, while the cats spent the rest of eternity groping around in the dark, wondering where the hell everything was, and cursing the weasels, their weasely tails, and their weasely ways.

Moral of story – Weasels invented the light bulb, and pretty much everything else, so get over it already.