Barack Obama has finagled his way into office for a second term and, as is his wont, he has given an inauguration speech overflowing with empty but glittering promises – and, as is their wont, American liberals have taken him seriously.

Wall Street’s main man in Washington hit all the predictable notes, all the well-rehearsed lies that his faux-liberal party likes to spew on Americans and the world at large on a regular basis – guff and hot wind about looking after the vulnerable, making sure everyone has the opportunity to succeed, not allowing anyone’s granny to die in poverty and squalor, God this, American greatness that, etc etc, yada yada, blah blah. He also made sure to pass the current liberal litmus test by going on about supporting gay rights – because doing so shows that he is in favor of individual freedoms, even if his support for the Patriot Act suggests otherwise. Possibly the only grain of truth in this otherwise solid slab of nonsense is his claim that America must make a commitment to “sustainable energy sources,” – that, after all, is guaranteed to be a ginormous cash cow once the planet stops bleeding black.

How can American liberals be so deluded as to swallow the lies of a man who made the same promises four years ago yet failed to deliver even when he had the power to do so? Are they ignorant? Are they stupid? Those factors are almost certainly part of the problem given America’s woeful education system (don’t worry, Uncle Barack’s going to take care of that as well,) but I suspect that the main problem here is that the country’s progressives are scared shitless. Deep down they know that what they are being sold is yet another pile of cow-dung, that an ever-widening gap between rich and poor and a continuing erosion of civil liberties are the new American norm, but a drowning idiot will grab onto anything you throw him – even an anvil. So down into the sweet, crimson depths go America’s liberals, cheering inanely as their self-inflicted illusions poison their future, comfortable in knowing that no matter how bad things get there will always be another ersatz messiah ready to soothe their suffering with yet another jug full of reassuring smiles and sweet, sweet lies.

Full speech below – have your barf bags ready.