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Walk The Dog – Or Else!

Walk The Dog – Or Else! published on

The weirdoes in charge of Australia’s RSPCA (our version of the Humane Society) have put forward a proposal that takes government interference in everyday life to a ridiculous new height – they’ve suggested that people who don’t walk their dogs “often enough” should be fined thousands of dollars, and in some cases even jailed!

Being a swine myself, I’m all for giving people who mistreat animals a kick in the teeth, but making it an offense to not walk the dog “often enough”? And just how often is “often enough”? Well according to the article…

“The proposed new laws are designed to formalize the national code, which states dogs must be walked at least once a day.”

So on top of everything else, Australians will now have to take doggy for a walk every freaking day or they’ll be looking down the barrel of jail time. Bad enough for those who work very long hours, but even more so for the elderly or disabled for whom doing this every day may simply be impossible. There are a couple of women in my area that can only get around on motorized wheelchairs, and both of them have lapdogs. How the hell are they supposed to take these dogs for a walk every day? And what if your dog is a lazy bastard who refuses to go walkies? What are you supposed to do, drag the bastard through the streets? Why, that would be illegal too!

And precisely how does one prove the dog is being walked regularly anyway? You can prove it’s not underfed by pointing to it’s gut, prove it isn’t being abused by pointing to a lack of injuries, but what do you do to prove you’re walking the bugger? Make a video recording of each walk while keeping a newspaper with the day’s date in clear view? Ludicrous. Let’s face it, anyone with a grudge against you (psycho ex-wife, that bloke you keep beating at pool, that drinking buddy who resents you for never buying a round…) could claim you’re not taking Fido for enough walkies and you could end up wearing a fine of up to 12 thousand dollars or even jail time!

I’m all for protecting furbearing quadrupeds, but this goes far beyond the protection of animals to the oppression of humans. It’s yet another little thing to keep people worried and anxious, yet another distraction from the real problems of the world, yet another way to keep people scared and unthinking. Think I’m exaggerating? Think the people who enforce the law will always be sensible about it and not lock up citizens who are clearly not criminals? That’s what many people think, people like Samantha Tumpach, an American woman who taped four minutes of Twilight: New Moon during her sister’s birthday celebrations at the local cinema , and is now being threatened with three years jail! Safe to say that if someone had told Tumpach that something this surreal was in her future she would have said “Oh, come on, you’re exaggerating!”

Big Brother strikes here.