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Hillary Clinton Is Already Dead, Reveal New Leaks

Hillary Clinton Is Already Dead, Reveal New Leaks published on

After weeks of speculation about her failing health, Republicans and genuine left wingers ( all three of us ) were today pleasantly surprised when the latest batch of leaked DNC emails showed that presidential candidate and suspected demoness Hillary Clinton has, in fact, been dead for the last six months!

According to the Guccifer 2.0 leaks, Clinton perished back in March from a massive heart attack brought on by ingesting too much hot sauce in a vain attempt to impress a crowd of black people. She was rushed to the local hospital when she collapsed but, being in a black neighborhood, the hospital had no defibrillators and Mrs. Clinton was unable to be revived — a fact that impressed the black people present far more than her little stunt with the hot sauce. Wasting no time, then DNC head Debbie Wasserman Schultz had Hillary Clinton pickled and fitted with a rig that allows her to be even more of a corporate puppet in death than she was in life.

According to an email from vice-presidential hopeful Tim Kaine to current vice-president and walking punchline Joe Biden, Mrs. Clinton’s carcass is being operated by husband and suspected rapist Bill Clinton, and daughter and confirmed mirror breaker, Chelsea Clinton, both of whom are always carefully camouflaged in order to blend into whatever background the increasingly pungent Mrs. Clinton is placed against. According to Kaine, Bill stands behind her holding up her corpse, as he has for so long held up her political career, and wildly flailing her arms around, while Chelsea stands to the side manipulating her moldering mater’s facial expressions and doing the hilariously grating voice. The leaked exchange between Kaine and Biden also revealed that the real reason Biden did not himself go for the presidency was that he was afraid he would never be able to get the “black people smell” out of the Oval Office.

More shocking revelations here.

Vote Trump — He Ain’t That Bad!

Vote Trump — He Ain’t That Bad! published on

To blab or not to blab, that is the question…

For the last few weeks i have been thinking about writing a further piece on the cartoon character running for the white house, ever since it became clear to me that Donald T is even less objectionable than i first thought. For a while there i was afraid that i might be letting too many cats out of the bag by spilling the beans on Mr. Trump, but then it occurred to me that i wouldn’t be saying anything that the more intelligent conservative commentators haven’t already said, and that other than myself and that crazy guy what sells lemonade behind the dumpster out back nobody will ever read this. So here come them beans…

Donald Trump is a radical socialist mole trying to take over the Republican party. That’s right, folks, Donnie and Bernie are actually the same person! Why do you think we have never seen them in the same room at the same time?

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Trump isn’t quite a screaming socialist (Screaming, yes. Socialist, no,) but he is clearly at least as much a liberal as he is a conservative. Despite all the hatred he gets from hysterical, PC-obsessed pseudo-leftists, looking through his statements one is struck by how many left leaning stances this screaming baboon has. According to his site, Make America A Turnip Again, the great man is in favor of taking half of Amerikan households off the tax roll…

“If you are single and earn less than $25,000, or married and jointly earn less than $50,000, you will not owe any income tax. That removes nearly 75 million households – over 50% – from the income tax rolls.”

Now, if Bernie said that, everyone on the left would get really excited and start working a few hours less in order to completely avoid income tax. Yet when Trump says it, everyone either shuts up or calls him a Nazi. Is a good idea a bad one simply because it comes from someone you find obnoxious? Is Hillary Clinton’s soft-spoken malevolence better than Trump’s loud-mouthed benevolence? Apparently so, at least if you ask most leftists. I guess that’s what happens to people who are stupid enough to believe everything the faux-leftist media tells them.

Trump also claims that he will get rid of the loopholes that he is currently using to avoid a really, really large tax bill. Now, this would be a very unusual thing for a filthy rich bastard to do, but stranger things have happened – a Marxist becoming pope, for example, or Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize – so one can only hope.

The Talking Orange also opposes the utterly evil TPP, a stance he shares with that other bane of the political establishment. As usual, DT is not subtle about it…

“TPP is the biggest betrayal in a long line of betrayals where politicians have sold out U.S. workers. America’s politicians — beholden to global corporate interests who profit from offshoring — have enabled jobs theft in every imaginable way.”

Again, Bernie’s opposition to this massive corporate power grab makes him a hero, Trump’s opposition is somehow irrelevant! This is the kind of idiocy i have come to expect from what passes for the Left these days. Not being a pinhead, i don’t care who stops the TPP, as long as they crush it deader than dead and then burn its stinking, disease-ridden corpse to ashes.

But Trump’s biggest left wing virtue is his opposition to what is currently Amerika’s greatest evil – neo-conservative, military-driven imperialism. Trump started out lukewarm on the Iraq war and within a year or two was staunchly against it. Like many leftists, he has openly said that the Bush/Cheney administration straight out lied about weapons of mass distraction, and has even suggested that W should have been impeached over the war. It totally drives me crazy that so few people who claim to hate the neo-cons are siding with Trump. Here is a guy who is trying to grab the Republican party and drag it from the neo-conservative far right to the center, where it would do far less damage, and so-called leftists, liberals and peaceniks hate him for it! Jesus Freakin’ Christ! Is political correctness more important than the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians? To the liberal mentality, apparently so. When neo-con establishment figures like Bill Kristol are so keen on stopping Trump that they suggest starting a third party, you know Trump is the person any genuine opponent of neo-conservative evil should be voting for. But, hey, Trump ain’t a woman, right? And as all good liberals know, a warmongering woman is always better than a man who wants to keep his troops out of unnecessary wars, simply because she is a woman. Once again, what seems to matter most to the liberals and leftists is political correctness, not reducing the chances of future Iraq-style bloodbaths.

And then there’s Trump’s right wing stances. Sure, some are clearly right wing, but others are really left wing stances that most leftists are too stupid to see as such. I have news for you boys – there ain’t nothin’ lefty about encouraging millions of social and religious conservatives to flood into the US, taking jobs from locals and lowering wages by working off the books and under the table – no Lewinsky jokes, please. Yes, amazing as it may seem to today’s leftists, giving the plutocrats exactly what they want is not a left wing thing to do! Perhaps such clowns would realize that if they paid more attention to class and less to the burning issue of whether or not Caitlyn Jenner should be allowed to call himself a woman. So, even when he seems to be right wing, DT is in fact being rather leftist. Then there is his opposition to the Islamic invasion. Once again, this is not as right wing as it looks. After all, who do you think flooded into Germany last year? A million socialists? No, not even a million liberals. Instead, what Germany let through the gates last year was a million-strong horde of radically conservative types, the least radical of which make even the average Southern preacher look like a New York liberal! Homophobia, racism, and true misogyny on a level rarely encountered in Western societies, that’s what the Islamic invasion adds up to and Trump – unlike Killary Clinton – strongly opposes it.

As for his genuinely right wing stances, what decent person doesn’t have a problem with the West’s rampant abortion rates? Sure, i would prefer to see a cultural change in which abortion remains legal but is so frowned upon that women choose instead to use contraception or put the lump of meat up for adoption, but i will take a ban on third trimester abortions if that’s the price for keeping that Bitch Of War Killary out of the Oval Office. Or is it a ban on all abortions except for rape, incest and cases where the mother would die if the birth went ahead that Trump wants? Frankly, i don’t know, but that’s okay – neither does Donald!

Then there’s his support for gun ownership. Why this is a right wing thing is one of contemporary society’s greatest puzzles. I guess somewhere along the way the left, as part of its continuing descent to the intellectual level of the kind of right winger who can’t spell “moron,” decided that it would be great if the only people in Amerika who have guns are the criminals, the cops, and the soldiers. Yeah, that’s what you want in an increasingly brutal corporate state – a weaponless population lorded over by armed government thugs and psycho homeboys. And make no mistake, it’s the government thugs that pose the bigger threat – not only do they have bigger guns, but they can actually shoot straight.

Of course, the man with the dead hamster on his head has said a few crazy things, but who hasn’t? And unlike Killary, he only says crazy things, she actually does them – you know, things like voting for the slaughter of half a million Muslims and supporting the corporations in their quest to pass the TPP. Even Trump’s bit about having to kill terrorists’ families seems humane compared to the slaughter in Iraq. Wrong, but comparatively humane. And, yes, i know Trump suffers from some other problems, such as having all the English language skills of a drunken Mexican and being convinced that vaccines cause autism, but these things are mere peccadilloes when stacked against a pile of Iraqi corpses several miles high.

So, short of Bernie getting the Dem nomination because Hillary Clinton suddenly drops dead or is abducted by aliens, i think Trump should get in – but do i think that he will get in? Frankly, i think it more likely than not. Way i see it, once Trump gets the nomination from the hardcore Republicans that turn up for the primaries, he will do a variation on what all candidates do, which is to become more “moderate” in order to draw in the general public. With most candidates for the Oval Office, this comes down to backtracking on some of their stances, with Trump it will come down to not acting like such a jerk for a few months. He won’t have to change what he’s saying, only the way he says it, and people will suddenly realize he ain’t as bad as his demeanor currently makes him seem, and this in turn will be more than enough to close the small lead Clinton has over him. Chances are, Trump will become president, a situation which will lead to lots of laughs, but hopefully also to less wars.

Now, i am no fool (except maybe for that time i tried to retrieve a bagel from a live toaster using a wet fork,) so i am well aware that the Trumpster could be lying about pretty much everything. Unfortunately, unlike Bernie and Hillary “I Kill Muzzies For Fun“ Clinton, Trump has no actual record of deeds, only one of statements. But going on those statements, especially the ones he has been making for years, i have no choice but to endorse this bizarre cartoon character for the Presidency of the United States. He ain’t great — he ain’t Bernie, or FDR, or any such thing, but he is more liberal than conservative and, more importantly, he is by far the lesser of the two evils likely to get into the White House. Under these sad and surreal conditions, i am left with no option but to urge my Amerikan brothers to “Vote Trump – He Ain’t That Bad!”

The Islamic Invasion Is A Plutocratic Project

The Islamic Invasion Is A Plutocratic Project published on

It never ceases to amaze and dismay me that so many left wingers and liberals – I would argue a majority of them – see the Islamic Invasion of Europe and other western countries as some sort of liberal/leftist project.

Let’s face it, it’s not as if the 800 thousand Muslims that flooded into Germany last year are socialists, communists, or anarchists – or even liberals, for that matter. These are people so conservative that even the European right wing opposes their presence, though many of them do so for reasons of their own. Yet everywhere I look there is some member of the Retarded Left going on about how wonderful it is to have the European countries flooded with homophobic, misogynist, racist reactionaries who give more of a shit about Muhammad than they do about Marx! Hell, most of them have probably never even heard of Uncle Karl, and if they care about class issues at all, that concern probably goes no further than their own families. Yet they keep arriving, in their million hordes, from Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads, to the cheers of humanities graduates and Gandhi wannabes whose brains have been damaged by decades of politically correct irrationality.

Why this is a plutocratic rather than conservative project

The fact that most of these new arrivals are conservatives of various stripes is clear from their backward views on pretty much anything you care to name. But how does their conservatism make this a plutocratic project as opposed to a conservative one? It all comes down to who benefits from this particular type of conservatism, and it isn’t the average Western right winger. While a flood of lily white conservative Christians might delight the average European or Amerikan right winger, the influx of swarthy Muslims does little to make them happy since Islam threatens to displace their own brand of stupidity. The plutocrats, on the other hand, benefit massively from the new arrivals. In the long term they get a less liberal population that doesn’t hold so many annoying ideas about equality and human rights and all that crap. And in the short term they have us worrying more about rapes and mass shootings than we worry about the wealth gap and the erosion of freedoms we once took for granted, while also getting more peons willing to work for peanuts – and, thanks to the Retarded Left, they get to look like the good guys while doing so! This would certainly explain the plutocracy’s reluctance to do anything to stop the invasion. They own the politicians and the media, and so could, within a few short weeks, have most Europeans and Americans telling the Moorish invaders to fuck off. They can stop it, yet they don’t. Why? Because it is not in their interest to do so, that’s why.

Why is everyone so convinced it’s a left wing thing?

But how did such a clearly plutocratic project end up being perceived by both Left and Right as a left wing thing? The average person does not just pull these idiotic perceptions out of their asses. In the same way that the average right winger supports neo-liberal policies that clearly do him no favors because his leaders tell him do so, so the Retarded Left supports the Islamic Invasion because that is what their crypto-conservative leaders tell them to do. Most of them don’t even need any logical pseudo-reasons to support the thing, it’s all about the feelz. Tell the fools that good people support “X” for long enough, and most of the fools desperate to be perceived by both themselves and others as good people will support “X.” Tell them that it’s the in-thing for their group to do, and most sheeple wanting the warm fuzzies you get by belonging to the flock will soon be declaring their allegiance to “X.” So the leaders of the left roll their bullshit out across the cable channels and “left wing” websites, and before you know it the majority of leftists and liberals are openly supporting a plutocratic project! At the leadership level, the majority know exactly what they are doing, but at the ground level – the retards who do the voting at the polls and the screeching on the social media – the majority seem to truly believe they are carrying out some sort of leftist mission. Not being grossly irrational, it is always difficult for me to understand why people who condemn the homophobia of gay marriage opponents would support an invasion by people most of whom, at best, want to make homosexuality itself illegal and, at worst, want to stone gays to death! But, like I said, I am not batshit crazy, while most leftists and liberals these days clearly are.

But why would the leaders of the left do such a thing?

The answer to this one is simple – just because you lead the sheep does not mean that you yourself are wooly and go “Baaaa!” Contrary to what many right wingers think, the leaders of the left are not a bunch of pinheaded hippies whose brains have been damaged by too many magic mushrooms. You don’t get to be a master of propaganda and manipulation by being dumb as a hole in the ground. What these people are, from the academics that rule your local university’s social sciences department to the major “liberal” politicians running most Western countries, is highly deceptive individuals whose primary purpose in public life is to serve the plutocracy. They do this in many ways, but the most pertinent one in this case is by flooding the West with people who have not been brought up with all those pesky liberal ideals about everyone being given a fair shot in life and even the lowest amongst us being treated with some measure of dignity. These ideas are quite a burden on the plutocracy and since it’s too late to stop the natives being raised to be so fucking liberal – and in the West even most conservatives hold these liberal ideals – you may as well balance things out by importing some mouth breathing knuckle draggers whose social and political views make the average Southern redneck look like Martin Luther King.

Looking at the evidence and at who stands to benefit, it becomes very clear that the Islamic invasion is a plutocratic project meant to destroy Western liberalism and similar ideologies. Clear to me, at least, but alas not at all clear to the Retarded Left, who will, no doubt, continue to scream “racist” and “Nazi” at the few of us who can still tell shit from chocolate. I suspect that, eventually, even such pathetic animals will realize the error of their ways, but by then we will all be up to our necks in Mohammeds and Abduls and it will be too late to do anything except learn how to shout out “Allahu Akbar!” That is, of course, if you still have a head with which to shout!

Why I Support Donald Trump

Why I Support Donald Trump published on

When writing that headline I almost wrote “Duck” instead of “Trump.” I guess it’s because they are both bad-tempered cartoon characters with barely intelligible speech! But you have to play the team you have, not the team you would like to have.

As I see it, whoever gets into the White House is going to be a plutocratic piece of scum. That is just as true of Mr. Duck as it is of everyone else. Clinton has made it clear that the 1% has nothing to fear from her, and we can take her word for it because, given that she and her husband have tens of millions of dollars in assets, she is one of the 1%. Trump and the other Republicans are also members of the plutocracy to varying degrees, so on this matter they are all bastards and bitches.

Here’s where the differences arise, though. While Hillary is clearly a neo-conservative Amerikan Imperialist who supported the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and would probably launch one or two more if she could have her way, Trump has for years been saying the war in Iraq was a big mistake. He only said it after it was well underway, of course, but that’s better than we have gotten out of Clinton. The other Republicans who stand a chance of getting the nomination are about as bad as Clinton. Jeb Bush is actually one of the signatories of the Project For The New American Century’s statement of principles! It’s no longer online, but it basically said, “Let’s take over the world! Yeeeharr!” Marco Rubio seems to be a full-on neo-conservative who would have signed the Statement of Principles if he had been of consequence at the time. Ted Cruz doesn’t seem too bad when it comes to Amerikan imperialism, but having been born in Beaver Land, he may or may not be eligible for the US presidency, and that uncertainty alone will probably stop him from getting the nomination. So, the way things look right now, that leaves the fight for the White House as a Clinton v Trump, Clinton v Rubio, or Clinton v Bush proposition. And that means, alas, that a certain hamster-haired idiot is the lesser of the available evils.

And sure, I would prefer someone with a proven left wing record like Bernie Sanders, but we all know the old guy has no chance of winning the Dem nomination. Why? Because he’s a guy! And the Dems are hell-bent on putting a woman in the Oval Office no matter how big a piece of shit she is. So Bernie stands no chance of doing anything except forcing Clinton to pretend to be a lefty during the primaries. Once she wins the nomination, it’ll be a swing to the center to get enough votes, then, once in the WH, she will show her true colors – just as Obama did. Elizabeth Warren might be able to beat Clinton, either as Batman or as Robin to Sanders’ Batman, but she has made it clear she wants no part of this particular comic book. Therefore, unless footage surfaces that shows Hillary was the second gunman on the grassy knoll, it will be Clinton who gets the nomination.

So, the choices for President seem to come down to a rabid, plutocratic, Neo-con Democrat piece of shit, a Neo-con Republican, another Neo-con Republican, or a retarded baboon with a dead hamster on his head – I’m going with the retarded baboon!

Why I Shit On The Right And Piss On The Left

Why I Shit On The Right And Piss On The Left published on

 

Yes, folks, it’s all due to an anatomical anomaly – I have a brain that’s larger than a hamster’s bollocks…

There was a time when the Left Wing was worth supporting, but that time is long gone. Nowadays, the Left does little for the poor, little for the environment, and nothing for men. But let me start with the many reasons why the Right is even worse than the Left.

I shit on the Right because it is the primary accomplice of the plutocracy. These people know fully well that they are working to make the rich richer. Indeed, doing so is the modern Rights’ raison d’etre ( and no, that’s not the name of a French breakfast cereal). With the right wing, it’s all about the so-called free market, all about deregulation, while paying lip service to their idiot base by making occasional complaints about gays getting married and Mehicans taking jobs from the white folks. You’ll notice that they don’t actually get round to doing anything about the latter problem, but why would they when their plutocratic masters clearly appreciate the cheap labor? While the Left does nothing for the poor – or at least, so little as to be inconsequential – the Right goes out of its way to shit all over them. This is not really a matter of different intentions, it is simply part of the game – to maintain the illusion that there is a genuine choice the Left has to act a bit less assholish than the Right. Stop doing that and even the dumbest amongst us will realize that both sides are nothing but zombies at the beck and call of some capitalist voodoo priest. I suspect that this rampant right wing support for the plutocrats is mostly the doing of plutocrat-owned leaders – trickle down and all that crap – rather than the doing of the right wingers on the ground. After all, it’s not just the liberal constituencies that are losing jobs to mechanization and the third world, and, surely, not even the average right winger could be so stupid as to consciously and knowingly aid and abet in his own economic castration. Or could he?

The Right is also where you find the majority of homophobes, anti-black racists, warmongers, and irrational nutjobs convinced that the world was made a few thousand years ago by some senile old bastard who lives in the sky. And the first two can be blamed on the average right winger, not simply on their leaders. I doubt that the owners of the Right really give a shit about supporting things like racism and homophobia, but they pretend to in order to keep the Right’s bigoted base on their side. As for religious excess, I have no doubt that the plutocracy does support it as irrationality breeds irrationality. Most people are not smart enough to be irrational in Area “A” while staying rational in Areas “B” to “Z”. For most people, irrationality is a disease that spreads from one part of life to the others, and that is exactly how the plutocrats want it. Make people irrational about God, the meaning of life and all that other crap, and soon they will be irrational about politics, the climate, disappearing jobs, and their rapidly vanishing freedoms.

And on that point – irrationality – let me start in on the Left. The Left has been so contaminated by political correctness and other College-borne, pseudo-liberal viruses that they can no longer tell shit from chocolate, black from white, up from down, and male from female. That’s right, the same people who scream “Right wing loonies!” at those who think the Bible is the word of God are the same people who cheer loudly when Bruce Jenner claims to be “for all intents and purposes” a woman! Of course, if he were to come out tomorrow and claim that the rapture was just around the corner, it is these same people who would be taking to their Twitter accounts to blither out, “Holy shit, Caitlyn Jenner has lost her mind!” I’m not a religious sort ( in case you haven’t figured that out yet ) but even i can’t help but think of that biblical bit about the splinter and the log. And this is one of the greatest sins of the Left, its abandoning of the thing called reason — if there has to be a God, that God should be Reason. But the Left does not see it that way, to them Reason is something to be loathed and disrespected. It is something that oppresses people, even though most Left wing ideas are based on it. And even worse than that – it is something that stops people feeling good about themselves! To the illogical, touchy-feely types that dominate the Left, there seems to be nothing worse than people (their people, of course ) feeling bad about themselves. So they must support Bruce when he claims his penis, his bollocks, and his having at least twice inseminated a woman are in no way evidence of his maleness. And if someone who is as white as he is black decides they feel better about themselves “identifying” as black, then the 50% of their DNA that says “white” must be ignored – especially when that someone is a plutocratic stooge trying to get into the White House. Next thing you know, claiming to be a duck will be perfectly PC as long as you stick some feathers on your ass and occasionally go “Quack, quack!”

Then there is the Left’s unwavering support for multiculturalism and the Islamic invasion. In other words, the Left’s unwavering support for the Right! After all, it’s not as if the liberal West is being flooded with socialists and progressives, is it? That’s how batshit crazy the average leftist has become – they are supporting a far right invasion of the liberal West simply because the conservative invaders are kind of swarthy, eat kebabs instead of hot dogs, and scream “Allahu Akbar” instead of “Jesus Is Lord!” Sheer lunacy! And in the long term, the worst sin of the Left – they are destroying the left wing ideologies that have made the last one hundred years something close to a Golden Age for the common man, and they are doing so in the name of Leftism itself! For a mind as logically inclined as my own, this is truly incomprehensible. Shit, at least the right wing Christians have a life time of conditioning and a very prestigious best seller telling them all the shit that fills their heads! What the hell is the excuse of the Left?!?!? A couple of decades of propaganda and academic chicanery do not compare to a life time of brain washing – it takes a far crazier person to believe the former than it does the latter.

Then there is the matter of character. While the Right deserves to be reviled for accepting the opportunity to hate on the poor, the blacks, and the gays, the Left is just as deserving of contempt for its eagerness to shit all over whites and, especially, men. In the same way that the average right wing asshole does not have to say, “Yes!” when asked if he wants to hate the niggers, the faggots, and poor white trash, so too could the average left wing asshole have said, “Fuck you!” when offered the opportunity to hate on whitey, the menz, and those who can still tell a cock from a cunt. But, no. Just like the bigots on the Right, the bigots on the Left saw the opportunity to treat a huge group of people as inferior, and they grabbed it with both hands. The offer to be bigoted we can blame on the plutocrat-owned leaders of the Left – the accepting of that offer can only be blamed on the followers themselves.

So, for these and other reasons that i am too pissed off to think of right now, I hold both sides of politics in the highest contempt and hope they both go down in flames and are replaced by something decent and humane. It ain’t gonna happen, of course, but we can always hope – and if we can’t hope, we can always rant about it on our blogs!

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