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The High Cost of Health Care.

The High Cost of Health Care. published on

Bill Caudle has joined the U.S army – not out of misguided patriotism or a desire to wear a fancy uniform, but so his wife could get chemotherapy for her cancer.

Caudle’s 20 year job went out the window a few months ago, and with it his health coverage, so the 39 year old decided the only thing to do was join the army, which offers recruits health insurance. So now Bill Caudle will be gone for four years, he’ll miss his daughter’s graduation, and he may come back in a body-bag or  a wheelchair,  but that’s what happens when you live in a country that doesnt give a fiuck.

More here.

Mum Burns Children To Death

Mum Burns Children To Death published on

According to Prosecutor Kym Worthy , Michigan woman  Sharon Hinojosa set fire to her boyfriend’s mobile home, grabbed the baby, and left her two other small children to burn to death.

The baby was the only one of the three children that was fathered by her current boyfriend, the two dead children -3 year old Alayna and 4 year old Anthony – were by a different father. There are claims that the couple was about to break up, and to some at least this has suggested the man didn’t want the kids that weren’t his, and the woman thought if she got rid of them the chances of him sticking around would be greater (see, it’s really the big bad male’s fault !) This may be the case but another possible scenario is  that she had a problem with the two dead children’s father and this was how she chose to get back at him – either way possibilities are all these are.

According to one witness, at first Hinojosa didn’t seem concerned about the fact that two of her children were still inside the burning mobile home, and at one point she offered the feeble excuse that she didn’t get them out  because she couldn’t wake them! Good excuse if the kids are teens, you piece of crap, but not so good when they are 3 and four – you just grab them and run, maybe you’ll have to make two trips but keep in mind  that  this is a mobile home, so it’s small and is at floor level, it’s not as if she had to carry the kids down several flights of stairs.

In the third link below, you will notice the far too common tactic of blaming the male, with Hinojosa’s dad implying it must all be the man’s fault…

“She took care of those two babies. … I don’t know what that guy put in her head or what happened, because she loved her babies,” he said.

Here’s a more honest response for you old man – “Whoops, sorry folks, me and the Missus raised a psycho who likes to burn children to death!”

Regardless of her motivation this woman is scum . Child murder is bad enough but Hinojosa didn’t even smother the kids before setting the fire – they burnt to death, with at least once witness saying the children screamed for over a minute. Needless to say, i hope that if she’s convicted the other criminals throw a welcome bonfire in her honor…

Found it at The Weekly Vice but went looking for more details.

Article One here.

Article Two here.

Women Turned on by Monkey Porn!

Women Turned on by Monkey Porn! published on

We all know the popular media driven view of female sexuality – romantic candlelit dinners in a cozy little restaurant where the floor show consists of Harry Connick Jr singing “My Mammy” while doing his Michael Jackson impression. However, a few years ago the land that inflicted Celine Dion and Bryan Addams on the rest of the world gave us a study by a Psych Professor named Meredith Chivers that finally answered Freud’s famous question about what women want, and what they want is some hot monkey sex.

In 2005, as part of what seems like a very weird choice of vocation, Chivers took a bunch of test subjects, sat them down in front of a computer screen, hooked them up to devices that measured their sexual responses (plethysmographs — the male version of which measures swelling in the penis, the female equivalent being a plastic probe that measures vaginal blood flow),  then showed them a wide array of porn, not only straight, gay and lesbian but also mating footage of  a species of Chimpanzee!

The gist of the outcome was that on average; straight men were turned on by straight porn, and not surprisingly, lesbian porn, and gay men were turned on only by gay porn. Where it got weird was with the gals, with both the straight and gay women reacting in a positive manner to well, everything-  straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, and God help us all, the monkey porn!  Not only that, but they got a stronger vaginal response from watching the monkey porn than they did from images of a good looking man!

The other interesting aspect was that the subjects were given keypads on which to rate their subjective feeling of arousal, and  whereas the men  admitted to what turned them on, both the straight and lesbian women didn’t, claiming that only porn fitting into their declared preference did it for them! Alas, ladies the plethysmographs showed otherwise…

Presumably this doesn’t mean women want to hump monkeys, but it does suggest that either they really don’t know what the hell they want, or that when it comes to sexual desires at least, women lie more than men! So the next time some chick gives you the spiel about candlelit dinners just remember that what she really wants you to do is show her some monkey porn, even if she doesn’t know it – or admit it!

More here.

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe published on

In the recent headlong rush to blame all the world’s financial woes on the evil that is maleness, one interesting fact has been lost in the hubbub – It’s mostly the fault of a woman called Blythe Masters.

Masters, who hails from the same clod of soil as Harriet Harman, is apparently an even greater monster, having been the creatrix of a thingy called Credit Default Swaps, a weird financial thingamajig which was once referred to by Warren Buffet as a financial weapon of mass destruction, and which is apparently the main cause of all these woes. As you may have gleaned by now i am not exactly a financial wizard,  so don’t be askin’ me for an explanation as to how all this works – the writer of the article linked below tries to explain it and gets some positive comments on said explanation, but I personally didn’t get it! Perhaps not surprising given that when in high school the only subject I ever sucked at was math…

Blythe Masters learnt how to sew body parts together at Cambridge University, and got her lab, electricity supply and a hunchbacked personal assistant named Igor from those great humanitarians at JP Morgan. Masters was also once quoted as saying that her fiduciary nonesuch was the equivalent of  “a free lunch,”  something which of course, unless you are a food critic, simply doesn’t exist.

When called out by The Guardian on her creation’s destructive effects on the economy, our female Frankenstein replied blithely (sorry, but I couldn’t resist)…

“I do believe CDSs [credit default swaps] have been miscast, much as poor workmen tend to blame their tools.”

Which I take it is the business equivalent of “Credit Default Swaps don’t kill people, people with Credit Default Swaps kill people.”

More here.

Thanks to pjanus for the heads up on this enlightening article.

Michael Claymore Wins Pulitzer!

Michael Claymore Wins Pulitzer! published on

Great news!

My manager Michael Claymore has just won the Pulitzer prize for his epic novel “Where the fuck is MY Nobel?”

The Pulitzer board recognized that Mr. Claymore has yet to learn the difference between vowels and consonants, but they have great faith that within the next six months he will eclipse Mailer and Hemingway and that he will, in all likelihood, make Shakespeare look like that jackass who wrote “The Whiny Housewives of Madison County”

Hot on the heels of this stunning announcement came the news that Michael has also won the Oscar for Best Director for his as yet un-filmed opus “Apocrypha Now”, which critics are describing as combining the greatness of “Ishtar” with the high octane action of a weekend with your grandmother.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, the Pope declared that in a letter handed to one of his predecessors by the children present at Fatima, it was revealed that the recent tacky impersonation of the Jackson five is in fact the Seventh Sign of the Apocalypse. His Holiness then begged Mr. Claymore to persuade his heavenly father to delay the Armageddon long enough for His Holiness to win his own box of Cracker Jacks.

On the negative side, it is not true that Mr. Claymore is soon expected to find a cure for cancer, as in his own words “I just bought the fucking chemistry set for Dad’s sake, stop putting so much pressure on me!”

According t o CNN, when asked whether or not Mr. Claymore would be the recipient of next year’s Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel committee replied “What, you think we give these things to just anyone?”

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