Not happy with making total and utter fools of themselves over Archie Comics’ gay character Kevin Keller, the gaggle of idiots at One Million Moms are now on the warpath against Marvel and DC.

It seems that the latter is about to reveal that one of their characters is gay, and the hysterical womb-wielders at O.M.M are having fits as to who it may be. Will it be Superman? Batman? Wonder Dyke? Probably not — the market risk would be too great, far more likely to be one of the company’s lesser lights. My guess would be Bat Mite. After all, an elf isn’t too far from a fairy…

 

Meanwhile across at Marvel, gay Canadian Northstar — I can just see the twitty twats at O.M.M snickering snidely that a “gay Canadian” is a redundancy, or at least I could if I thought the word “redundancy” was in their vocabularies — is going to do the Kevin Keller by marrying another guy. These two imminent catastrophes have occasioned much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the conservative harpies, who seem to fear their ten year old sons will turn pink…

“Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, “I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?”

First, there is no character called “X-Men,” and secondly — kids? Most of the people reading these things are teens and adults — the days when it was mostly ten year old kids are long gone. As for the few children who are still able to afford these expensive little pamphlets, so what? If the sexual preferences of superheroes had a significant influence on whether or not someone grew up to be straight or gay, all the gay kids who grew up reading comics would be straight — just like their childhood idols!

Apparently these squirrel-brained wonders are basing their views on that most famous of comic books, the Bible…

“These companies are heavily influencing our youth by using children’s superheroes to desensitize and brainwash them in (sic) thinking that a gay lifestyle choice is normal and desirable. As Christians, we know that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27).”

Yes… gays are sinful, the world was made in six days by an angry old man who lives in the sky, curious women get turned to salt, and Fred Flintstone was a real person who co-habited with a dinosaur…

Original blitherings here

 

In possibly the most moronic display of conservative panic since speculations about Spongebob Squarepants and his little pink friend Patrick Star,a group of right wing mothers has launched a campaign against Toys R Us over their selling of a recent issue of the comic book “Life With Archie”,
the cover of which depicts gay character Kevin Keller marrying some other guy!

I personally see the whole gay marriage thing as yet another convenient smokescreen for the world’s real problems — why tackle class issues when you can make yourself look “liberal” by allowing gays to do something which at least 50% of them will regret ? — but outside of that I really don’t care. Let them get married, poor fools. In ten years they’ll be launching a new campaign to have that dubious right taken away. Frankly, my idea of marriage equality would be to make it illegal for straight people as well as gay ones, that way everyone would all be much happier. But back to the hysterical screechings of the loonies at One Million Moms…

“These comic books are sold at the front checkout counters so they are highly visible to employees, managers, customers and children. Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. “

This is of course balderdash. If the kid asks, just tell them some idiots want to marry people of the opposite sex, some idiots want to marry people of their own sex, either way it’s an idea they will live to regret. See, not so complicated is it? What is really driving these protests is not concern over kiddies asking awkward questions, but rather the need so many people seem to have to hate on some group or another, and the right wing’s rabid desire to crush anyone who opposes their hate-mongering in any way, especially if they are part of the popular culture industry. Would it be too much to call this clan of pinheads a hate group? Probably not, as the One Million Moms group is a branch of the American Family Association, a group well known for, surprise, surprise, its promotion of homophobia! Apples really don’t fall very far from the tree, do they?

 

In defense of the book John Goldwater, one of the big cheeses at Archie, had this to say…

“We stand by Life with Archie #16. As I’ve said before, Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone. It’s an idealized version of America that will hopefully become reality someday. We’re sorry the American Family Association /OneMillionMoms.com feels so negatively about our product, but they have every right to their opinion, just like we have the right to stand by ours. Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people.“

 

Er, yes, thank you Martin Luther King. What Goldwater means of course, is that the series’ recent focus on social issues has increased its sales and they will be damned if they let a few loons mess with their bottom line, so to speak. Motive aside, Goldwater and Co are doing the world a favor by keeping the issue on the racks, and the One Million Moms are doing the world a favor by showing everyone what a bunch of lame-brained maggots they are. Why, next thing you know they will be whining about this classic issue of  Betty and Me…