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Dumbass Woman Can’t Tell North From South

Dumbass Woman Can’t Tell North From South published on

The answer to the question “Who would Dan Quayle be if he was a woman?” has once again made a massive fool of herself, this time by claiming that it is North Korea that is the US’s ally!

With her customary disrespect for the English language, the pointy headed moose whacker told a radio interviewer…

“Well, North Korea, this is stemming from a greater problem, when we’re all sitting around asking, ‘Oh no, what are we going to do,’ and we’re not having a lot of faith that the White House is going to come out with a strong enough policy to sanction what it is that North Korea is going to do.

So this speaks to a bigger picture that certainly scares me in terms of our national security policy. But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies – we’re bound to by treaty….”

See, this is why the US needs to get serious about fixing its educational system – or at least force everyone to watch more old episodes of MASH!

The linked article puts this down to a mere slip of the tongue, I however see it differently. If this was a one-off gaffe it might be irrelevant in making a judgment about Palin’s intellect, but this is part of an ongoing  pattern of stupidity that can only be taken as clear evidence that Palin shouldn’t even be allowed to run for the presidency, much less win it. And if  you think the US has an image problem now, think about this – if Palin becomes president and another Korean war breaks out she might bomb the wrong bloody country!

Article here

Audio below.

Dumbass Woman Threatens To Invade Oval Office

Dumbass Woman Threatens To Invade Oval Office published on

We all know that it’ll happen sooner or later, and today the infamously dense Sarah Palin came one step closer to throwing her bonnet into the ring for 2012…

In an interview with media Methuselah Barbara Walters, the ever-eloquent Palin stated…

“I’m looking at the lay of the land now, “

(No, I don’t know what Palin’s daughter has to do with this either.)

The moose-whacking soccer mom continues…

“and … trying to figure that out, if it’s a good thing for the country, for the discourse, for my family, if it’s a good thing,”

In other words she’s trying to figure out how many of her fellow pinheads will be willing to vote for her. Frankly I don’t understand why anyone would want this Evita Perron wannabe to become the most powerful person in the world, but then I’m not an idiot.

On the other hand she’s thick as a brick and good to look at, so it would certainly be a more entertaining presidency – think George W. crossed with Jessica Simpson and directed by Tarantino and you’ll have the right picture.

More here

Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch! published on

Well, well, it looks as if devout Christian and anti-wanking crusader Christine O’Donell has held beliefs even more questionable than her current ones about the Angry Old Man In The Sky.

On Bill Maher’s old show “Politically Incorrect” the semi-literate O’Donnel informs us that she “dabbled into (sic) witchcraft” and even held a midnight picnic on a satanic altar! Of course what witches and Satan have to do with one another is anyone’s guess, but one can’t expect much from her ilk…

Incidentally, I believe that the man sitting next to her is gay horror writer Clive Barker, and the other woman looks like Poppy Z Brite, a New Orleans horror writer who once described herself as a gay man trapped in a woman’s body!

Yet who comes across as the weirdo? The Christian girl! Makes you wonder just how much freakiness lies behind the Republicans’ Rockwellian façade, don’t it?

Now, I don’t think this teenage experimentation says much about O’Donell’s character, nor do I think it calls her current beliefs into question, but it sure is funny! I especially like her insistence that she didn’t join a coven, having as it does shades of Bill Clinton’s claims that he may have smoked pot, but he never actually inhaled…



Michael Claymore Wins Pulitzer!

Michael Claymore Wins Pulitzer! published on

Great news!

My manager Michael Claymore has just won the Pulitzer prize for his epic novel “Where the fuck is MY Nobel?”

The Pulitzer board recognized that Mr. Claymore has yet to learn the difference between vowels and consonants, but they have great faith that within the next six months he will eclipse Mailer and Hemingway and that he will, in all likelihood, make Shakespeare look like that jackass who wrote “The Whiny Housewives of Madison County”

Hot on the heels of this stunning announcement came the news that Michael has also won the Oscar for Best Director for his as yet un-filmed opus “Apocrypha Now”, which critics are describing as combining the greatness of “Ishtar” with the high octane action of a weekend with your grandmother.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, the Pope declared that in a letter handed to one of his predecessors by the children present at Fatima, it was revealed that the recent tacky impersonation of the Jackson five is in fact the Seventh Sign of the Apocalypse. His Holiness then begged Mr. Claymore to persuade his heavenly father to delay the Armageddon long enough for His Holiness to win his own box of Cracker Jacks.

On the negative side, it is not true that Mr. Claymore is soon expected to find a cure for cancer, as in his own words “I just bought the fucking chemistry set for Dad’s sake, stop putting so much pressure on me!”

According t o CNN, when asked whether or not Mr. Claymore would be the recipient of next year’s Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel committee replied “What, you think we give these things to just anyone?”

Obama Wins Worthless Prize

Obama Wins Worthless Prize published on

There’s an old Meat Loaf song that contains the lyrics…
”But there aint no Coupe De Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box!”

That’s right Meat, what actually lurks at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box is a Nobel Peace Prize! Soon we’ll all have one!

In a move reminiscent of an episode of the Twilight Zone, five nutty Norwegians have seen fit to award neophyte President Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize! Precisely what for is anyone’s guess, as we don’t yet know how bad or how good Obama will turn out to be – he hasn’t done anything yet, so why the prize?

The Nobel Peace Prize is supposed to be awarded…
“to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.”

Yet In recent years we have seen decisions that have nothing to do with achieving peace, and a lot to do with giving left wing ticks of approval.

Muhammad Yunus for example doesn’t seem to fit the bill, having jointly been given the prize…

“for advancing economic and social opportunities for the poor, especially women, through their pioneering microcredit work”

No mention of Peace that I can see, regardless of what other worth his work may or may not have. Then there’s Al Gore who got his box of Cracker Jacks for …

“efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change”

Again no mention of Alfred’s beloved Peace. And now there’s Obama…

“for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples.”

Well, at least it hints at peace efforts, but he hasn’t done anything. A prize is supposed to go to people who actually do, not those who merely intend to do, otherwise it’s like handing Lance Armstrong the prize before he even gets on his bike.

The reaction by so many American liberals has been truly frightening in the way it reveals a split with reality that that would make even Orwell puke. For example, the reaction at The Huffington Post can best be described as Bacchanalian, with so many commenters acting as if Obama is Gandhi, King and all the Kennedys rolled into one.

American liberals are still waiting for the miracle, apparently. Waiting for the Big Daddy who will lift them up out of their money driven, politically divisive mire and put them up where they belong. It’s not going to happen boys and girls, the dice are loaded from the start of the game and the chances that Obama will be better than Clinton are very slim indeed, about as slim as Obama’s chances of winning a bowling tournament – unless of course the tournament is run by the Nobel Committee.

Here’s part of the orgiastic reaction at Huff

And here’s a video of Obama accepting the prize – even the man himself says he’s not sure he deserves it – if only his followers were so rational.