We all know that American cops love three things above all others : eating donuts, getting free blowjobs from hookers, and shooting negroes in the back.

A man needs variety in his life, though, so occasionally a cop takes his dick out of some hooker’s mouth and throws the donuts away long enough to shoot himself a different kind of victim. Not wanting to stress himself out, such a man tries to find the easiest target available. No going after some 6’4”, 300 pound biker, no siree. A cripple in a wheelchair, that’s what’s needed.

This may be what happened when some cop in Texas was called to a late night disturbance involving a one-armed, one-legged, schizophrenic man in a wheelchair. Freaked out by the obviously agile lunatic, and perhaps not realizing that having all four limbs is a huge advantage when taking on a cripple armed only with a pen, officer Matthew Jacob Marin pulled out his gun and blew the man away. His excuse? He apparently thought the pen was a knife!

Even if it is true that this flatfoot can’t tell the difference between a thing what writes and a thing what slices, it is very difficult to see why a knock on the head with a big black stick wouldn’t have served just as well – or a kick in the teeth for that matter, after all the guy was sitting down.

For reasons of fairness I must point out that the cop may have been in the right, and for the sake of reason I must point out that I find that possibility to be a rather remote one.

Lessons in how to shoot fish in a barrel here