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Any similarity in style is purely coincidental…

Any similarity in style is purely coincidental… published on

Do you want to read some really weird stuff that has nothing to do with the sad state the world is in? Do you want to receive bad advice on how to interact with the animals in your life? Do you want commentary on culture high and low? Do you want to find out why going on a cruise with Kevin Smith is a bad idea? Do you want to read some guy’s wiseass comments about pictures of scantily clad women? Are you wondering what the hell ever happened to Sorority Row, that cartoon about the none-too-bright college girls? Do you have an abnormal fear of chipmunks? Are you feeling Random? Are you feeling Goofy? Well, here’s some Random Goofiness, because life’s more fun when you’re goofy.

Ted Nugent – Motor City Draft Dodger

Ted Nugent – Motor City Draft Dodger published on

We have all been treated to the pseudo-macho antics of right wing nutter Ted Nugent, he who thinks killing small, furry animals is manly and who would – in what I can only describe as a sign of latent homosexuality – like to have Obama sucking on his great, big, er, “machine gun.” Well, it turns out that old Ted isn’t just a nut, he’s a draft dodger.

Twisted Sister front man Dee Snider recently pointed out how ironic it is that Nugent is such a darling of the right given that he once confessed to High Times that he was so desperate to avoid the draft that 30 days before his physical was due he stopped bathing and brushing his teeth, a habit which he has been struggling to kick ever since. Nugent even went so far as to shit on himself!

Of course, Nugent now claims that he was lying to High Times, but the records show that even though he initially used his studies to avoid the draft, he later dodged the Death Lottery by being classified 4f – i.e. not acceptable due to physical, mental or moral reasons. In other words, the kind of thing one could expect if he turned up with a mouth full of plaque and a pair of jeans full of shit.

The disgusting thing about Nugent is not that he avoided the draft – doing so shows that he wasn’t always a brain-damaged freak – but that he pushes standards that he himself does not live up to. In other words, one standard of behavior for the hoi polloi, another standard for multi-millionaires in the making. Like comic book artist and fellow right wing fruitcake Frank Miller, Nugent is keen to see blood shed for his country – as long as it isn’t his own. Still, there is one upside to this story. At long last we know why Ted likes to kill cute, furry, little critters – unlike the Viet Cong, they don’t shoot back.

More here

Sexy Magazine Covers – A Case Of Faux Oppression

Sexy Magazine Covers – A Case Of Faux Oppression published on

If you want evidence of how few genuine problems western women have to complain about, just look at the way feminists fulminate at certain magazine covers. You know the ones I mean, the ones that show women whose images trade on sex as if they were, er… women whose images trade on sex.

The most recent example of this porridge-brained idiocy is, of course, the Lana Del Rey cover for GQ’s Men of the Year issue. There was much hand wringing about young Lana’s nudity as compared to the alternate covers which showed male recipients like Robbie Williams wearing suits. The entire thing was decried as sexist, misogynist – all the usual crap – and I’m sure that somewhere on the internet the many ghosts of Andrea Dworkin were yelling hysterically that such “objectification” leads to violence against the wiminz…

What the female supremacists are deliberately ignoring is that there are, obviously, several valid reasons to portray Del Rey in such a radically different way from the fellas.

First, Del Rey would look stupid wearing Robbie Williams’ suit, especially if he was still in it at the time.

Second, GQ stands for Gentlemen’s Quarterly, not Gelding’s Quarterly, and is hence a magazine for which the audience is primarily men who still retain some sort of sexual interest in women. That a mostly male audience might want to see a relatively attractive young woman wearing no more than some tacky jewelry and nail polish should neither surprise nor offend any but the most stridently anti-male.

The third reason is that we are talking about a woman whose public persona is a highly sexualized one. This is Lana “My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola” Del Rey – it aint The Flying Nun! The men on the alternate covers, on the other hand, are a bunch of British wankers who, apart from Robbie Williams, have images that have little to do with sex, sex, and more sex. As for Williams, maybe at one time the girls might have wanted to see the inexplicably popular popster in the altogether, but those days are past. As for the other guys…er, who are they again? Unless they are sex symbols in the UK, their modesty is of little import.

The ink had barely dried on Pepsi Cola’s cover when the feminuts went bonkers over Rihanna’s cover for the American version of the same magazine. Rihanna appears, if not naked, then certainly not as well covered as Ben Affleck and Channing Tatum . Why such a disparity? Has misogyny struck again? Is it another sign of America’s “War on Women.” No. I suspect that, much like young Lana, the sexual nature of the photo has something to do with the young woman’s persona, her image, the way she has chosen to present herself to her public. Call this a wild theory if you will, but I am pretty sure the lasciviousness of the cover has something to do with the fact that the subject is someone who sashays around singing about S&M while shaking her pert little ass all over the place!

Fact is, women who are in the business of titillation will be portrayed in a titillating way, and that aint misogyny, that’s just both the girls and the mags getting what they both want. When Aung San Suu Kyi turns up on one of these covers wearing nothing but a pair of earrings and a diplomatic smile, the feminists will have something to get genuinely pissed off about. Until then, this is just another case of western feminism claiming to see female oppression where everyone else sees some good looking young woman doing what most feminists can only dream of doing – showing off her beauty while she still has it.

“I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking A Purple Elephant!”

“I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking A Purple Elephant!” published on

Ten years before “Bridesmaids” showed it was okay to portray women acting like a bunch of twits, there was “The Sweetest Thing.”

A goofy and footloose tale about a trio of foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed women, The Sweetest Thing was something of a flop when it came out and without interviewing thousands of people I can only speculate as to why this was the case…

Continue reading “I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking A Purple Elephant!”

Senile Old Man Makes Fool of Self

Senile Old Man Makes Fool of Self published on

I guess Schwarzenegger wasn’t on the menu this time ‘round, what with the maid-diddling scandal, so the Republicans rolled out the only other big name they’ve got — Clint Eastwood. This may have been a mistake, as the poor old guy comes across as being on his last legs, does a lot of hemming and hawing, and pretends to talk to a Barack Obama who isn’t actually there!

And how’s this for a half hearted endorsement — “Possibly, now, it may be time for someone else.” Wow, such unrestrained enthusiasm! I guess money can buy everything!  Then there are the plebs in the crowd who stand and cheer when Eastwood says “We own this country.” Though he pretends to include the audience in that “we,” what he really means is rich bastards like himself. But the poor, deluded fools don’t seem to understand that. Well, of course they don’t – if they were smart they wouldn’t be at the convention to begin with…

The only intelligent thing said during this bizarre and seemingly endless senior moment is when the imaginary Obama tells Eastwood to shut up. Unfortunately, Eastwood doesn’t know good advice when he hears it and continues to blither for another 7 minutes…