Skip to content

Guest Post By Daisy Duchess, President of N.O.F.W

Guest Post By Daisy Duchess, President of N.O.F.W published on

We now present the first of what i hope will be many Guest Posts by Daisy Duchess, President of The National Organization of Feminist Weasels.

Daisy graduated from Wellesley in 1998 with a double major in Women’s Studies and Law. She spent seven years working as a prosecutor for the New Orleans D.A, a position which saw her jail thousands of homeless men for littering the streets with their presence.

Misogyny In Letters

By Daisy Duchess, President of The National Organization of Feminist Weasels

I would like to begin by thanking the pig for this opportunity, and by asking him if he’s stopped beating his wife and children yet. No, I don’t expect piggy to give me an answer to that, indeed I would expect him to take the Fifth! But that’s pigs for you, just so un-communicative!

Today I will present one of the many subtle yet pervasive acts of misogyny that occur in our society with frightening regularity – about every six minutes i believe.

Recently I visited a site by the name of Project Syndicate to check out Naomi Wolf’s latest writings, and as usual she was  a bit too centerish for my tastes, but the subject of this post is not Ms Wolf’s wimpiness, but rather the left sidebar which lists the site’s contributors under the heading “Thought Leaders.”

Looking at this sidebar you will notice, apart from its obvious phallic connotations (and don’t think I don’t know what that’s supposed to imply) that Ms Wolf’s name is at the very bottom of the list of contributors! Now, the patriarchally inclined would say “Well, Daisy that’s because the list is alphabetically arranged and Wolf begins with a W, and no other contributors have names beginning with X, Y or Z!”

Bah! To that  I say “Rubbish!” The fact is that ever since the prehistoric matriarchies were overthrown by the savage hordes of maleness, the patriarchy has arranged the order of letters in the alphabet to be prejudiced against women. As everyone knows, women have a natural tendency towards having surnames that begin with the latter letters of the alphabet (Wolf, Steinem, Xylophone and Zoology) whereas men are more likely to have surnames that start with the earlier letters (Bush, Cheney, Beck and my local grocer Billy Aardvark).

This, and only this, is the reason why names are arranged “alphabetically” in the modern patriarchies – the oppression and relegation of women to the bottom of website sidebars! After all, if this isn’t the purpose of this particular type of tyranny, why not just place names haphazardly? It would play havoc with library catalogs you say? Bah, don’t be so naïve!

This patriarchal colonization of the means of communication, the locus of intellectual self-expression, is the kind of small, everyday attack on women that society tends to largely ignore, the kind of attack that makes women feel diminished every time they open a book or write a letter, the kind of attack that must end, especially now that we have a feminist in the White House.

Marriage – It’s Worse Than Jail! And Death!

Marriage – It’s Worse Than Jail! And Death! published on

It’s official, a man is now better off in a concrete dungeon or in a cold, cold grave than in a marriage.

The prosecution’s first exhibit is Italian man Santo Gambino. Gambino spent some time in the lockup for illegally dumping garbage, then was sentenced to finish his term under house arrest, which for most men would be seen as a welcome development. Unfortunately for Santo, the house in question was his own, the one containing his screeching virago of a wife who proceeded to make his life hell with her constant “nagging”, which of course is just a  word used to whitewash verbal and psychological abuse when it’s being committed by a spouse of the female persuasion.

This grotesque situation led Santo to the conclusion that the Mafiosi and murderers he was previously bunking with were far nicer folks than his metaphorical ball and chain, so it wasn’t long before the beleaguered husband turned up at the local Police Station asking to be put back in stir rather than have to spend another minute with that blasted woman! Unfortunately for Santo, not only did the authorities refuse his request but they also charged him with breaking his house arrest so he’ll probably have his sentence increased – that’s right, more time locked in the marital cage with a ranting, raving, foaming Italian harpy. Poor bastard. Looks like Santo dumped the wrong load of garbage…

Our second exhibit comes to us from China, where a lorry driver known only as Zhou decided that a watery grave was preferable to another day with the constant “nagging” of his lesser half. During a ferry trip on the Yangtze River, the ship’s crew were surprised to see a man running out of his cabin, covering his ears and loudly exclaiming the Chinese equivalent of “I can’t take any more of her shit!”

While crew members were trying to figure out what could cause such unusual behavior, the demoness in question rose up from the Ninth Circle of Hell, fangs dripping, arms akimbo and bat wings flapping, and proceeded to further berate the poor bloke, who again covered his ears, screamed “I need a break from all this crap!” and jumped into the raging river. Much to everyone’s surprise, and probably to Zhou’s chagrin, the tough bastard survived the raging waters, swimming 2 kilometers to the shore.

When found, Zhou described his time in the raging river this way…

“I felt I was dying, but even that’s better than my wife’s nagging.”


On a more serious note, both of these occurrences seem fairly clear cases of verbal/psychological spousal abuse, but since the victims are men, it’s all just good fun. Imagine if some woman was so upset by her husband’s verbal attacks that she preferred to be in jail or in a raging river – would we be laughing? I doubt it.

Source  here and here.

Women Turned on by Monkey Porn!

Women Turned on by Monkey Porn! published on

We all know the popular media driven view of female sexuality – romantic candlelit dinners in a cozy little restaurant where the floor show consists of Harry Connick Jr singing “My Mammy” while doing his Michael Jackson impression. However, a few years ago the land that inflicted Celine Dion and Bryan Addams on the rest of the world gave us a study by a Psych Professor named Meredith Chivers that finally answered Freud’s famous question about what women want, and what they want is some hot monkey sex.

In 2005, as part of what seems like a very weird choice of vocation, Chivers took a bunch of test subjects, sat them down in front of a computer screen, hooked them up to devices that measured their sexual responses (plethysmographs — the male version of which measures swelling in the penis, the female equivalent being a plastic probe that measures vaginal blood flow),  then showed them a wide array of porn, not only straight, gay and lesbian but also mating footage of  a species of Chimpanzee!

The gist of the outcome was that on average; straight men were turned on by straight porn, and not surprisingly, lesbian porn, and gay men were turned on only by gay porn. Where it got weird was with the gals, with both the straight and gay women reacting in a positive manner to well, everything-  straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, and God help us all, the monkey porn!  Not only that, but they got a stronger vaginal response from watching the monkey porn than they did from images of a good looking man!

The other interesting aspect was that the subjects were given keypads on which to rate their subjective feeling of arousal, and  whereas the men  admitted to what turned them on, both the straight and lesbian women didn’t, claiming that only porn fitting into their declared preference did it for them! Alas, ladies the plethysmographs showed otherwise…

Presumably this doesn’t mean women want to hump monkeys, but it does suggest that either they really don’t know what the hell they want, or that when it comes to sexual desires at least, women lie more than men! So the next time some chick gives you the spiel about candlelit dinners just remember that what she really wants you to do is show her some monkey porn, even if she doesn’t know it – or admit it!

More here.

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe

(Blythe) Masters of the Universe published on

In the recent headlong rush to blame all the world’s financial woes on the evil that is maleness, one interesting fact has been lost in the hubbub – It’s mostly the fault of a woman called Blythe Masters.

Masters, who hails from the same clod of soil as Harriet Harman, is apparently an even greater monster, having been the creatrix of a thingy called Credit Default Swaps, a weird financial thingamajig which was once referred to by Warren Buffet as a financial weapon of mass destruction, and which is apparently the main cause of all these woes. As you may have gleaned by now i am not exactly a financial wizard,  so don’t be askin’ me for an explanation as to how all this works – the writer of the article linked below tries to explain it and gets some positive comments on said explanation, but I personally didn’t get it! Perhaps not surprising given that when in high school the only subject I ever sucked at was math…

Blythe Masters learnt how to sew body parts together at Cambridge University, and got her lab, electricity supply and a hunchbacked personal assistant named Igor from those great humanitarians at JP Morgan. Masters was also once quoted as saying that her fiduciary nonesuch was the equivalent of  “a free lunch,”  something which of course, unless you are a food critic, simply doesn’t exist.

When called out by The Guardian on her creation’s destructive effects on the economy, our female Frankenstein replied blithely (sorry, but I couldn’t resist)…

“I do believe CDSs [credit default swaps] have been miscast, much as poor workmen tend to blame their tools.”

Which I take it is the business equivalent of “Credit Default Swaps don’t kill people, people with Credit Default Swaps kill people.”

More here.

Thanks to pjanus for the heads up on this enlightening article.

Stephany Alexander Sucks

Stephany Alexander Sucks published on

Who the hell is Stephany Alexander, i hear you ask?  She’s the cowpat of a woman who set up “”, previously known by the far more descriptive name of “”

Amongst the dubious services offered by this site is the opportunity for women to accuse any man they take a dislike to of being abusive or unfaithful, no evidence or other legal niceties needed.The women are allowed to use the man’s real name and his real photo, and so far 40,000 men have been put into this database. And it is always a man -the rules clearly specify that one can not post accusations about women. This is no obscure little feminist website, Womansavers gets 90 thousand visits per month, and the guys at the top of the list have had the accusations against them viewed hundreds of thousands of times- that’s a lot of vilification for something completely unproven.

Because you need to be logged in to Womansavers to see these pages i have provided screen captures rather than the usual links, and of course i have reduced the men’s names to initials…

Now, just how easy is it to get a man’s name onto their database? This easy…

The entire thing can be done anonymously –  once a week all the IP addresses attached to posts are deleted so by the time this post is published at the end of July, my poster’s IP address will be gone and no matter how serious the allegations,  the poster can’t be tracked down.  An account was opened using a false female name and an email set up for this purpose alone, then a post containing  an accusation about a non-existent man by the name of  ”Fred Megatronowiz” was created, a photo of Jean Claude Van Damme was uploaded, and  poor Fred was described as a liar and a cheat as well as a “giant robot trying to take over the universe” ! But hey, it could have been YOUR name, YOUR photo, and the entry could have accused you of being a rapist and child molester, and thousands of women would have access to that accusation! And it costs no money to do this – that’s how easy it is to wreck a man’s good name these days.

Here is a screen capture of the resulting post…

Interestingly, even though vilifying poor old Fred is free, un-vilifying him would cost 25 dollars (to remove the post) or 10 dollars (to edit the post) and only the person who posted the accusation – or the “survey” as they like to call it – can remove or edit it, not Fred himself.

Why the fee? Could it be that this woman is laying aside her sisterly motives in order to fleece women who post statements they later wish to remove? So much for sisterhood. And yes, she says it goes to charity but the problem is she has her own charity for abused women, children and animals (!) so who knows how much of this money is finding its way into her pockets?

Think you can sue her? Alas no. Apparently the only people liable for false statements are the ones making the accusations and as good old Stephany sees to it that the IP addresses are deleted after a week, good luck in finding that bitch who branded you a sheep-humping freak!

Little Ms Manhater is really raking in the cash by vilifying men – she also has a book in which she, amongst other things, tells you how to get a free background check on a man before you date him. Not after he gives you reason to think he’s up to something shady, mind you, but just because he’s a man and therefore suspect. She also seems to have affiliations with a service that keeps track of you during a date so that if you don’t get back by a certain time it is assumed you are dining with Ted Bundy and the National Guard is called out.

More about this vile woman here.