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Steve Jobs Hates Your Wiener

Steve Jobs Hates Your Wiener published on

Okay, maybe he doesn’t hate it, but he doesn’t want to see it on the IPad either!

According to Slate’s “The Big Money”, a comic book version of the incomprehensible James Joyce classic Ulysses – which I believe tells the tale of a Jewish Irishman’s daylong search for a fresh bagel – has been knocked back by the mighties at Apple because one panel features a tiny drawing of the grossly offensive male organ!

Adding to the puritan bizarreness of the situation, the comic’s creators claim that they aren’t even allowed to include the penis panel with some kind of pixilation to blur the evil thing, as doing so is against Apple policy!

I don’t have a problem with Apple not wanting actual porn on the IPad, but this is clearly not porn but rather a small, inoffensive, and patently un-erotic depiction of some naked guy jumping into the sea! Not to mention of course the fact that the novel is known for its sexual content, so what were Apple expecting? A bowdlerized version of Ulysses produced by Disney and featuring songs by Celine Dion?

I wonder if this means Apple won’t carry photos of Michelangelo’s David or the Farnese Hercules?  Those works are also considered masterpieces and they feature much more detailed depictions of the penis, not only that but said wangs are also attached to what most people would consider to be good-looking men and therefore have far more erotic potential than this rather minimalist depiction of our sun-loving Irish friend.

Perhaps Apple’s view of an artwork featuring the penis can best be summed up in the immortal words of The Simpsons’ Helen Lovejoy…

“It’s filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body which, practical as they may be, are evil.”

More on the banned banger here.

Maryland State Thugs Bash Boy

Maryland State Thugs Bash Boy published on

Cops (I am tempted to call them pigs, but why should I insult myself?) in the US state of Maryland pounced on a 21-year-old man doing a silly dance while celebrating his basketball team’s win, beat the crap out of him, and then blamed the boy’s injuries on their own horses!

The baton-wielding thugs later claimed in a report that the boy had attacked them (well, they would wouldn’t they?) and that the horses had simply jumped to their riders’ defense! Problem with this story is that another of the students present at the incident had a video camera and his footage clearly shows an unprovoked case of assault and battery, and it sure as hell wasn’t the horses wielding those batons.

And how small are the chances these guys will do any jail time for this brutal crime? Very small of course, and even then they will be under protective custody and probably get special treatment from their buddies the guards. One has to wonder how often this happens without a camera being present, and if the accounts of other students are anything to go by, it probably happens quite often – on that particular night it apparently happened another five times, it just wasn’t filmed.

When asked about the incident the Police Chief feigned outrage by saying…

“I was outraged.”

But what has he actually done with this outrage? Not much, he has merely suspended one of the officers, so what he felt must have been a surprisingly mild case of outrage. The chief also says that the other cops involved in the attack will probably be fired, but the victim’s family think at least some of them should go to jail and I agree – if Joe average picked up by heavy stick and beat the crap out of someone on video you can bet he’d get a lot worse than just a dismissal from his job.

More here.

Pappas The Mad Weasel Strikes Again!

Pappas The Mad Weasel Strikes Again! published on

For anyone who doubts that what many feminists would like to see in the West is something akin to a reverse of Sharia law, here’s yet another example of NOW calling for a woman’s testimony to be worth twice as much as that of a mere male’s.

Marcia Pappas, the bloated bag of bile in charge of New York’s branch of the National Organization of Weasels, is calling for Adam Bradley, the mayor of White Plains, N.Y, to resign after being charged with domestic violence against his owner  Fumiko Bradley.

The bad dog stands accused of slamming his wife’s hand in a car door and of throwing hot tea at her. Damn, he should just have knocked her teeth out with a golf club instead! No wait, you only get away with that if you’re a woman married to a certain golfer….

What matters of course is not what Bradley is accused of, nor whether he is guilty or innocent, but rather that once again Pappas is calling for a woman’s allegations to be taken at face value. This is what Pappas did with Hiram Monserrate and Governor David Patterson so what we have here is yet another  case of damn the jury, damn the judge, if a woman says it happened, then it must have happened – and let’s all  forget the fact that Bradley’s wife wants to drop the entire case!

Pappas and her weasels weren’t happy to just make statements though, they turned up at  the courthouse to harass and shout slogans at the accused man!

And how many other weasels did Pappas bring with her? Twenty! That’s how unrepresentative these scumbags  are of the community, yet somehow when they speak guys like Obama still listen! How hard would it be to get at least 20 men to turn up for a counter-demonstration? Obviously I’m not about to fly to New York, but if even twenty men turned up to shout back at these harpies they would probably piss themselves and run away screaming!

The photo of Pappas was taken late last year at a press conference called by NOW to blame Ms Pappas’ weight problem on the man who sells her all that fried cheese.

More here.

Scottish State Steals Baby.

Scottish State Steals Baby. published on

Kerry Robertson is apparently a bit of a thicky (not that you can tell from the interviews in the linked articles) so the Scottish social services decided that she couldn’t raise baby Ben and promptly stole him from Kerry and his dad Mark McDougall.

The authorities had earlier prevented the two from getting married, claiming that the girl didn’t understand what she was doing, and when the pair found out about government plans to steal the child as soon as it saw the light of day they fled to Ireland, only to have that country’s storm troopers steal the baby on behalf of their Scottish counterparts!

Even if Kerry was a drooling vegetable like the kind of boofheads who made this vile decision the State’s actions would still be insupportable, given that the child’s father has no “disability”. But McDougall doesn’t need to be “disabled” to have his child stolen by The State as, wait for it, he is not married to the mother and therefore has no legal rights to the baby! Well, that worked out nicely for the kidnappers, didn’t it? I guess now we know what the Scottish hierarchy is when it comes to who “owns” children – state first, mommy second, dad not even in the running unless he’s married to the mother, and even then almost certainly a very distant third.

It’s all very 1984, deciding who can or can’t get married, who can or can’t raise children. At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, the family unit is a threat to the powers that be. Orwell knew it, you and I know it. Even with the media invading children’s minds more and more every day, those pesky parents are still there to teach them things the government would rather they did not know. Unless of course you can find some bullshit excuse to take the children away from them…

More here.

Walk The Dog – Or Else!

Walk The Dog – Or Else! published on

The weirdoes in charge of Australia’s RSPCA (our version of the Humane Society) have put forward a proposal that takes government interference in everyday life to a ridiculous new height – they’ve suggested that people who don’t walk their dogs “often enough” should be fined thousands of dollars, and in some cases even jailed!

Being a swine myself, I’m all for giving people who mistreat animals a kick in the teeth, but making it an offense to not walk the dog “often enough”? And just how often is “often enough”? Well according to the article…

“The proposed new laws are designed to formalize the national code, which states dogs must be walked at least once a day.”

So on top of everything else, Australians will now have to take doggy for a walk every freaking day or they’ll be looking down the barrel of jail time. Bad enough for those who work very long hours, but even more so for the elderly or disabled for whom doing this every day may simply be impossible. There are a couple of women in my area that can only get around on motorized wheelchairs, and both of them have lapdogs. How the hell are they supposed to take these dogs for a walk every day? And what if your dog is a lazy bastard who refuses to go walkies? What are you supposed to do, drag the bastard through the streets? Why, that would be illegal too!

And precisely how does one prove the dog is being walked regularly anyway? You can prove it’s not underfed by pointing to it’s gut, prove it isn’t being abused by pointing to a lack of injuries, but what do you do to prove you’re walking the bugger? Make a video recording of each walk while keeping a newspaper with the day’s date in clear view? Ludicrous. Let’s face it, anyone with a grudge against you (psycho ex-wife, that bloke you keep beating at pool, that drinking buddy who resents you for never buying a round…) could claim you’re not taking Fido for enough walkies and you could end up wearing a fine of up to 12 thousand dollars or even jail time!

I’m all for protecting furbearing quadrupeds, but this goes far beyond the protection of animals to the oppression of humans. It’s yet another little thing to keep people worried and anxious, yet another distraction from the real problems of the world, yet another way to keep people scared and unthinking. Think I’m exaggerating? Think the people who enforce the law will always be sensible about it and not lock up citizens who are clearly not criminals? That’s what many people think, people like Samantha Tumpach, an American woman who taped four minutes of Twilight: New Moon during her sister’s birthday celebrations at the local cinema , and is now being threatened with three years jail! Safe to say that if someone had told Tumpach that something this surreal was in her future she would have said “Oh, come on, you’re exaggerating!”

Big Brother strikes here.