If a distressing new ad is anything to go by, thousands of Russian women are being killed every year in acts of “domestic violence caused by trifles!” I can only assume that these poor women are sitting around minding their own business when suddenly a trifle pounces on them and kills them, presumably by giving them an instant and deadly case of diabetes!

Precisely why a usually harmless dessert should suddenly go on a country wide misogynistic rampage is anyone’s guess. Perhaps these delicious killers have spent too much time in front of the internet absorbing the West’s rampant culture of misogyny, or maybe they have just gotten sick of being devoured by badly made-up heifers and this is the only way they could strike back…

Whatever the cause, I am sure we all agree that T.I.D.V (Trifle-Induced Domestic Violence) is a serious issue that needs to be tackled, whether the victim is female or male, adult or child. Why the non-woman victims of this spate of murders are not mentioned in the ad I don’t know, it’s almost as if the authorities are upset only when women are killed by trifles – men and children, not so much.

 The other way to take this is that some male dirtbags are killing women for making them trifles which are substandard in some way – not enough Vodka soaked into the cake, perhaps – but this seems too ludicrous and unlikely an idea to even entertain.