Picture this. A middle class dude in possession of what he foolishly considers to be a good education is walking along minding his own business, when he is approached by a retarded man. The retarded chap proceeds to act like a total fool — jumping up and down, waving his arms wildly, uttering utter gibberish and so on. The middle class dude, in his smug superiority, just stands there laughing at this poor, benighted creature. Meanwhile, the poor, benighted creature’s confederate quietly sneaks his hand into our genius’ pocket, and walks away with his wallet. Now, you tell me – who’s the real retard? The guy feeling all smug and superior, or the guy who a few minutes from now will be in possession of half the contents of our “well-educated” pigeon’s wallet?

As you may have divined by now, the “retarded” man is a tall, rather overweight chap with a striking head of hair and skin bearing a hue usually found on a popular cornmeal-based snack food. Yes, folks, President Cheeto has struck again! Funny how this supposedly very stupid man never does anything stupid enough to cause himself serious damage, isn’t it? He never says, “Damn, i hate them niggers!” or “Fuck deporting the Mexicans and the Muslims, let’s just kill them all!” No. Every time this supposed mountebank puts on his big red nose it seems to be to his advantage, or at least not to any significant disadvantage! How about that? Either he’s saying something that most folks agree with – such as referring to shit-hole countries as shit-hole countries – or saying something that distracts us from what his buddies in congress are getting up to! It is never something fatally “stupid,” something that could end his political life — like deciding that the best way to cross a busy highway is with his eyes closed! I’m no Mr. Ed, but that seems a strange kind of stupidity to me…

Now, am i under the impression that President Cheeto is a genius, stable or otherwise? No, but what i do know is that while his supposedly intelligent critics were busy defending shit-holes and uploading pictures of Mr. Ed to Twitter, President Cheeto’s confederates were busy doing things that said critics would have had a big problem with – had they not been so distracted at the time. Some will argue that while feigned stupidity may be a tactic some times used by politicians, Trump’s stupidity is so often on display that, surely, it must be the genuine article! My answer to that is “No, you bunch of mouth-breathing pinheads!” First, i refer you to the above comment on how Trump never does anything fatally stupid, and secondly i must point out that this may be precisely how Trump wants you to think! If a clearly intelligent man like Obama suddenly starts acting like an idiot, the smarter observers will suspect that something is up. But if someone who has gone out of his way to establish himself as the village idiot acts really dumb, it’s just another day in Idiotville. Going back to the little story at the beginning of this article, the “retard” doesn’t just act retarded when his confederate is present, but also the rest of the time. That way, when his sneaky-handed friend comes around, everyone has their guard down because it’s nothing special, just the village idiot being himself again. Far as this little piggy is concerned, when one takes a cool-headed, objective look at the situation it is clear that while our orange Messiah may not be a “stable genius,” neither is he sitting on a park bench wondering what’s inside that box of chocolates. And speaking of chocolates, his buddies – both Republican and Democrat – just handed him a big box of the things by giving him greater powers to spy on American citizens…

See them chocolates right here, but no touching – they belong to Donnie and his Democratic successors.