1 – Stop lying like a bitch. Stop going on about a campus rape epidemic that does not exist. Stop claiming only men commit domestic violence. Stop claiming the West is composed of patriarchies – it makes you look about as credible as that guy who’s always going on about the lizard people.

2 – Start supporting actual equality. Stop whining about STEM and start campaigning to bring the proportion of degrees going to women back down to 51% — as opposed to 60%. Stop whining about air conditioning and start focusing on all those men living in cardboard boxes over a heating grate. In short, stop trying to widen the many gaps that already run in your favor.

3 – Shut the fuck up. Really. Nobody needs a bunch of over-privileged bigots taking part in a debate about equality. It’s like asking David Duke to weigh in on Black Lives Matter. It’s like asking Westboro Baptist to turn up at a Gay Pride parade. It’s pointless, it’s useless, and can only lead to jerks trying to further their privilege by sabotaging the attempts of those actually trying to change things for the better.

4 – Kill yourself. If you can’t start behaving like a decent human being, or at least shut the fuck up, you should do the human race a favor and take yourself out. I suggest jumping under a moving train, or into a wood chipping machine. The latter would be better as your remains could then be used as mulch – which is more than you will have done for anyone while alive.