More and more lately, we hear about how important it is to get women into this creative field or that scientific discipline, as if their mere femaleness will somehow improve said fields. More women in comics! More women in movies! More women in music! More women in STEM! More women in computer programming! These are calls screeched across the media by everyone from feminist bloggers to the Amerikan Emperor. The problem is, women just don’t have much of a record when it comes to being good at creating things. And that is putting it nicely…

Let’s face it – women aren’t much good at creating anything that doesn’t shit itself every five minutes. Pretty much all the achievements of civilization can be put down to men, patriarchy, call it what you will. From patriarchal Sumer’s decision that the wheel was good for something other than pottery, to some dudes figuring out how to put some other dudes on the moon, to social innovations such as welfare and public schools, just about everything that has dragged humanity out of the primordial slime has been the doing of some man or other.

Feminists and white knights will argue that this is due to lack of opportunity for women, but that’s a load of shit. First, women have been going to Uni for decades now, yet where is the wave of innovation from the First Sex? Where are the inventions? The new ideas that are supposed to result from Woman’s different point of view? Nowhere, that’s where they are. Hell, even feminism goes all the way back to some Greek bloke called Plato! And then there’s the fact that males belonging to oppressed groups – that’s real oppression, like slavery and lynchings, not faux oppression involving air conditioners and tiny cartoon wristies – have managed to create many worthwhile things. George Washington Carver came up with dozens of innovations in agriculture – thanks, no doubt, to the enormous privileges bestowed upon him by being born a poor, black slave! What did the rich white women who graduated from University the same year as Carver come up with? Butkus. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not that we know of, anyway – it’s always possible that one of the poor dears invented the computer but had it stolen by the patriarchy! Then there are Carver’s musical equivalents. Poor black men trapped in ghettoes who somehow managed to come up with rock ‘n’ roll, the blues, rap, and – may god forgive them – jazz. What the hell did rich white women come up with during that time? Any musical genres cooked up by those over-privileged twats? Not that I know of, no. Hell, I’m pretty sure that it was poor white men, not rich white women, who came up with most folk music and Country and Western, though I see little reason to be thankful for either of those achievements.

And no, learning to ape the creations of men is not being creative. Sure, there are many women who can write a good song, a good novel, a good poem, but only in forms and genres set out by their male superiors. The basic formulas being followed, they were almost always created by men, and without those basics even the most “brilliant” of female artists or intellectuals is left floundering like the mediocrity that she is.

So, the next time someone goes on about how essential it is to get more women into the arts and sciences, just remind yourself that, despite plenty of opportunity, the only thing women have come up with has been plenty of nothing.