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Senile Old Coot Fails to Foresee Own Death

Senile Old Coot Fails to Foresee Own Death published on

Remember this guy?

Yeah, him, Harold Camping, the nutjob who a couple of years ago announced that the world would soon be ending in a glorious explosion of hellfire, brimstone and self-righteousness. While his unexpected and novel announcement may have caused much mirth amongst the rational few, it also caused a lot of Christian idiots to sell their possessions and donate their kidneys in preparation for the coming Rapture  — because as everyone knows, in heaven you need neither your Tivo nor your internal organs. For this, I don’t know whether to damn Harold or thank him…

Anyway, it seems that Harold’s power to predict the future is even more flawed than we thought. The news has come down (rather like Harold himself) that the great man has apparently died after failing to divine that dancing on the roof when you are 92 is a bad idea. Yes, while dancing the polka with a pair of drunken strippers, the devout one slipped and fell off the roof, landing face first in his dog’s water dish. By the time the strippers could climb down off the roof and give him mouth to mouth, it was too late – the Holy Man had gone to meet his maker with what is probably a very bad case of doggy breath.

This links to a religious site. You have been warned. If you don’t want to give them traffic, you can just take my word for it.