After decades of diligently checking his mailbox every day, Mr. Wilbur Snorflebonger has finally received his long awaited male privilege…

“ I couldn’t believe my eyes,” he told our reporter. “I had been hearing about male privilege ever since childhood, yet somehow I had never seemed to receive mine! I was starting to think the entire thing was some sort of myth. You know, like a leprechaun or something. Then this morning there it was, a beacon of hope radiating from my mailbox like the dawn of a new day. I swear, I don’t know why it took so long to get here. I can only assume it’s been lost in the mail for the last 35 years. But hey, what matters is it’s finally arrived and I’m pleased as punch. I have to admit it’s not as large a package as the rumors had led me to expect… in fact it’s not so much a package as it is a small envelope containing an even smaller note…”

“And what does the note say?” I asked Mr. Snorflebonger.

“Well, it’s a pretty fancy note, I should point out. Embossed, and with faux gold trimmings…”

“Yes, but what does it say? What is your actual ‘male privilege’?”

“Well, apparently I am able to write my name in the snow without having to bend over! Of course, I am not allowed to do it when anybody else is around or I will be arrested. But hey, most women can’t do it at all! Ha ha! It’s good to be King!”

And there we leave Wilbur Snorflebonger, a simple and trusting man who has at last seen the promise of patriarchal privilege delivered on. Best of luck to you, sir. All you have to do now is find a way to stop paying your wife child support for a child of which you have custody.