Skip to content

Things I Have Learnt From Porn Sites

Things I Have Learnt From Porn Sites published on

So, to make life more bearable during Sydney’s never-ending lockdown, piggy has been hanging around free porn streaming sites to see what’s going on. So far i have learnt quite a few interesting things, which i will now proceed to share in no particular order and for no particular reason.

– Today’s young men have a shocking lack of respect for nuns.

– There is now something called clown porn. Yes folks, i bumped into a video of some hot young thing having a gangbang with a bunch of clowns — literal clowns, with red noses, green wigs, oversized…er…shoes, the whole thing. I guess when you live in Clown World, it’s just a matter of time before they get you.

– There are an unusual number of women getting stuck in windows out there. In windows, under beds, in various tricky bits of furniture, and even inside tumble dryers!

– There are not enough women having sex with cucumbers.

– Even though it may appear to be otherwise, nobody is having sex with the British Broadcasting Corporation.

– America’s stepmothers are a surprisingly generous lot.

– The acronym ATM has nothing at all to do with getting cash out of a machine in the wall. (Don’t Google it. Really, don’t.)

– Piper Perri is hollow.


Goofy no longer…

Goofy no longer… published on

Disney has just announced that its character “Goofy” will next month be renamed to “Eccentric Dog-Person Doofus” in order to not offend the weird and mentally ill amongst us. The change comes after years of lobbying by bodies such as the “Association Of Incurably Goofy Persons” and “Trans-Dogs Are Real Dogs Too,” who have long argued that referring to the psychiatrically disturbed and dog-like as being goofy is offensive to both the mentally ill and to individuals showing pronounced canine qualities. Disney denies that the move is simply a case of one-upping Hasbro after its decision to rename Mr. Potato Head to “Non-Binary Person of Potato-Shaped Inclusiveness.”