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Posts authored by The Pigman

They. All. Knew.

They. All. Knew. published on

Harvey Weinstein is scum. We all know that now, but Hollywood knew it for decades and did nothing.

And, yes, they KNEW. That’s why they laughed at Seth McFarlane’s little joke at the Oscars, because they knew. If they hadn’t known, they would have sat there wondering what the fuck that schmuck was going on about. You know what they say about Hollywood – it’s a town of secrets, but they are mostly open secrets. And Weinstein’s vileness has long been such an open secret. That’s why 30 Rock has a scene in which one of the women says she isn’t afraid of anyone and offers as evidence the fact that she has turned down sex with Harvey Weinstein – 3 times out of 5. It’s why even the usually brain-dead Courtney Love managed to tell girls to stay away from Harvey – all the way back in 2005! A woman who uses only .05% of her brain knew what was going down, but the rest of Hollywood did not? Rubbish.

See, here’s the thing. As someone with an interest in film-making, i have over the years read many books written by directors, producers, film journalists and so on. And one of the things that often pops up is what a grossly verbally abusive dirtbag Weinstein is. Remember that Christian Bale rant? That’s apparently a daily occurrence with Harvey, and on a bad day you get a matinee as well. And if it’s a really bad day you get a late night showing thrown in for free… Now, when you are this big a cunt in one area of life, the chances that you are also a cunt in other areas are pretty good. That’s why, despite not having heard any sexual allegations before, i was not at all surprised when the news broke. Think about that. Little old me wasn’t surprised, but Hollywood was?!?!?! Crap. They knew. And so did Hillary Clinton and the Obamas – they have pals in Hollywood, i don’t.

They. All. Knew. And none of them did anything. They are all enablers to a man who is, at the very least, a serial harasser, and at the very worst, an actual rapist. And this includes all the scum getting on their high horses. Scum like Emma Thompson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, and yes, even Rose Fucking McGowan. Sure, McGowan eventually blabbed, but only after twenty years of protecting him in return for blood money! How many women might have escaped his abuse had she gone public when he pulled it on her? It doesn’t make her as bad as him, but it doesn’t make her Little Ms Clean, either. And now she’s claimed that he actually raped her! So, by her own admission, she has spent twenty years protecting not only a serial harasser but an actual rapist! That, boys and girls, makes her the worst of Weinstein’s enablers, by far. Going on the evidence, the others knew he was an harasser. McGowan knew he was a rapist, and keeping quiet about a rapist is far worse than keeping quiet about an harasser.

From any moral person’s viewpoint, all of Big Hollywood has been irreparably stained by this scandal, the only ones who can still be considered clean are the little people who nobody would have taken seriously. Emma Thompson? She would have been taken seriously had she said something. That girl who played the daughter of Thompson’s best friend in that movie that nobody went to see? She would have been branded a publicity seeker, so she has some excuse for staying silent. Thompson does not. Every big name could have destroyed him, especially if they had done it in concert. What the fuck is Weinstein going to do? Blackball every big star in Hollywood? Unlikely. So i say it’s time to throw out all the Hollywood garbage and replace them with those further down the ladder. The next time a good role for some hypocritical cunt like Thompson comes along, i say we hand it down to some woman who was powerless to stop Harvey and his bathrobe. If Thompson wants to continue to work in the movie industry, well, i’m sure there are vacancies in the catering department.

And let me get in a bit about the right wingers in Hollywood. Given all their PC crap about women’s rights and feminism, the focus has quite rightly been on “liberal” Hollywood’s gross hypocrisy. But let’s not forget the Republicans – they all knew. Stallone. Eastwood. The Austrian Turnip. That bald guy who played the baby in those John Travolta movies – they all knew, they all did nothing. Just like Clooney, Damon, Pitt, and the women i have already mentioned. So they are all tainted, Republican and Democrat, all walking around covered in shit and vomit while pretending that they smell like roses marinated in Chanel No 5. They are all scum. And here’s why…

They. All. Knew.

Hollywood Liberals To Protest Trump Inauguration By Committing Mass Suicide

Hollywood Liberals To Protest Trump Inauguration By Committing Mass Suicide published on

Having finally realized that nothing short of Armageddon will stop Captain Cheeto setting up residence in the White House, Hollywood’s liberals have decided to stage one final, desperate protest by killing themselves in droves. Precisely what this is supposed to achieve is difficult to say, but i for one warmly and wholeheartedly welcome this new bout of liberal petulance.

Lady Gaga, the fascist pop singer who spent months encouraging delegates to stage a soft coup against the president-elect, plans to kill herself by combining four of her most famous attention-getting devices – she will strip naked, then cover herself in meat and walk into a giant meat grinder while singing about being a rape victim with PTSD.

Liberal icon Michael Moore has chosen a less painful, but equally effective way to go…

“I plan to inhale while standing next to a Mexican,” he told our correspondent. When asked if this was not a dreadfully racist thing to say, Moore responded, “Hey, like most liberals i love their cheap labor, but don’t get me started on their hygiene standards. Every time my housekeeper comes over i have wear a gas mask for the rest of the day!”

Actor, comedian, and all-around jerk Alec Baldwin released a statement today in which he claimed, “Nothing could be worse than living in a world ruled by that little pig Donald Trump, so i plan to commit suicide by walking into a meeting of the Black Panthers and shouting, “You niggers can all suck my white dick – just like yo mommas did!” No word on whether or not the rest of the SNL cast will be joining him.

Bruce Springsteen, a rocker once known for singing about working class woes but these days best remembered for kissing Hillary Clinton’s ass, has promised to shuffle off this mortal coil by going down to a dry river bed, drenching himself in kerosene and setting himself alight. When asked why he chose kerosene over more easily available accelerants such as petrol, Springsteen told us that he deliberately chose a slow-burning fuel so that he would have enough time to sing at least one verse of “I’m On Fire.”

Lena Dunham – a flaccid, butterfaced, butterbodied nothing of a woman who reneged on her promise to rid the U.S of her presence if Trump won – has decided to go out in the same narcissistic, self-obsessed manner in which she lived. After whining lugubriously that she refuses to live in a world ruled by someone who actually married and had a kid with “a fucking foreign whore,” Dunham told our correspondent that she will kill herself by sitting in front of a mirror and gazing steadily at her own hideous visage for thirty minutes, after which time it is expected that she will drop dead from the sheer horror of the experience. In an interesting side note, the mirror in question is a one-off made from polished titanium, regular glass mirrors being unable to withstand Dunham’s smug mug for more than five seconds.

Famous singer, withered old cadaver, and largely unwanted mother Madonna has announced that she will take herself out by finally delivering on her infamous promise to blow everyone who voted for Hillary Clinton. The event, to be held in a swimming pool and broadcast live on CNN, will feature Ms Ciccone blowing all 30 million men who voted for Clinton, and will end with 30 million simultaneous cum shots. Yes, Madonna plans to die as she lived – drowning in semen!

But Hollywood liberals aren’t the only ones seizing the day. It is expected that millions of pinheaded celebrity worshippers will be eager to follow in their idols’ footsteps and so, always looking to make a quick shekel, Starbucks has gotten in on the act by offering cyanide-filled lattes come the 20th of January. In a one time only offer, all lattes will include a “Trump Can Kiss My Dead Ass” t-shirt, and a bumper sticker reading, “How you like me now, Republican bitches?” All this for the low, low price of $750.

And the entire New York chapter of the ACLU is planning to behead themselves with scythes, in honor of their oppressed Muslim friends in ISIS. This one seems a bit tricky to me. The average liberal can barely even operate a spoon properly, how these guys will manage to commit suicide in such an awkward way is a mystery – perhaps they can fly in some ISIS members to help them. Wait, did i say ISIS members? Sorry, i meant to say Syrian refugees.

2016 — The Year The Left Disgraced Itself

2016 — The Year The Left Disgraced Itself published on

 

To most people, 2016 will go down as the year that a talking Cheeto somehow found his way into the Oval Office. That’s certainly a big part of how i will remember it! But to me 2016 will also go down as the year the Left – and i am including the liberals in that category, if only because that’s what everyone else is doing these days – showed itself to be totally, and perhaps irreparably, corrupted by both plutocratic influence and its own unspeakable stupidity.

First, they supported Hillary Clinton, a far-right, neo-conservative, neo-liberal, war-mongering psychopath, over Donald Trump, her obnoxious but significantly less worrisome center-right opponent. That the political “Left” and the MSM “Left” would do this is no surprise, for their true, plutocratic colors have been becoming more and more apparent since the election of Bubba D Raper back in ’92. Disgraceful – yes. New – no. What was truly shocking this year was how the grassroots Left behaved. These people, these so-called leftists and liberals, overwhelmingly sided with Little Ms Private Positions, this monstrous, child-exploding woman whom they fully knew to be a proud tool of the plutocracy. Not only did the smaller, supposedly truly leftist, news sites such as Reader Supported News side with Clinton and hence the plutocracy, but so did the “leftists” and liberals on the ground – all 65 million of them!

But then the unthinkable happened – their little tin goddess lost the election and left her followers feeling, to be kind about it, rather unhappy. And so came the tears. Not figurative tears, but literal ones. Screeching, agonized, howling-at-the-moon kind of tears. The kind of tears one expects when the neighbor’s kids see their dog squished flat by a truck right in front of them! The problem is, there is no dead dog and these are not children but, physically at least, adults. Yet not only were there tears, there were calls to suicide hotlines! Safe spaces in colleges were declared! Reality-free havens in which the distraught and terminally fragile could crawl with – quite literally – a puppy dog and a coloring book! This, then, is what the young Left has come to – a bunch of cowardly weaklings who can’t handle even life’s mosquito bites, much less its slings and arrows. Even in workplaces, members of the Pussy Generation took days off! Not for fear of being grabbed by the President Elect, but because they had to process their delicate little feels while hiding under the kitchen table and stuffing their faces with Ben And Jerry’s! Thankfully, this was not what young people were like back in the Forties, or we would all be singing Deutschland Uber Alles and wearing lederhosen! And don’t think it was just the twenty-somethings that freaked out. Alec Baldwin, major asshole and major Clinton supporter ( a common combination in the putrid halls of Hollywood ) was so distraught that he didn’t turn up for the post-election edition of SNL! Come on! What is this guy? About sixty now? And he can’t take losing an election? Such weakness is embarrassing enough in the young, but in someone brought up at a time when being so fragile was not encouraged, it is deeply shameful – especially for a man who likes to act the tough guy. Knowing Baldwin, he probably tried to console himself by phoning Trump and calling him a little pig. Heh, heh…

And then there were the protests against the result. America voted, the Left did not like the result so they decided to ignore democracy. That those paranoid and imbecilic enough to believe that the old orange guy is literally Hitler might want to publicly say, “I had nothing to do with the coming Holocaust!” is one thing. But to physically assault those who simply exercised their democratic right by voting for Trump? To riot and loot and set fire to shit? This is what the Left has come to? If it were to happen these days, kristallnacht would not be the doing of brown-shirted right wingers, it would be the doing of leftists, anarchists and crimson-haired SJWs! And the targets would not be Jews but whites and Christians. I don’t recall this shit happening when Obama won, and you know there had to be millions of really pissed off white racists that particular November. Yet all they did was to stay in their trailer parks, drinking cheap beer and complaining bitterly that President Jigaboo was about to screw them all over. They didn’t go out and beat up black folks who voted for Obama, neither did they hold mass protests. That’s what the Left has come to – it is now more thuggish than a bunch of racist Trailer Park Bubbas. Somewhere, the bones that used to be FDR are spinning wildly in their grave.

But the worst, the very worst, thing the left did this year was to openly, brazenly, and unashamedly try to overturn the results of the election by calling for the delegates who cast the electoral college votes to cast them for Clinton instead of for Trump! The excuse for this is that Clinton won the popular vote, but an excuse is all that it is. Can you imagine if it had gone the other way, if Trump had gotten the popular vote and Clinton the electoral college votes? No fucking way would fascist scum like “Lady” Gaga be calling for the presidency to be taken away from her girl Hillary! Perhaps the system does need to be changed so that the winner of the popular vote is the one who gets the world’s most dubious prize – ironically, even Trump himself has said so. But such a change needs to be carried out at a more appropriate time, not immediately after your neo-liberal idol loses, and certainly not retroactively just because you didn’t like the way things went. And doing it any other way is about as fascist as it gets. It is the kind of thing the Soviets would have approved of, the kind of thing the Nazis would have done – the kind of thing that the modern Left tries do. And don’t go thinking this was just a few radicals like Gaga and Pink and a few other brain-damaged psychopaths. No, the petition asking the delegates to betray the voters was signed by almost five million dirtbags! Five million fascist scum wanted the election, in effect, overturned. Despite this attempt at a soft coup, when December the 19th rolled ‘round not only did Captain Cheeto easily win, but Clinton actually lost more electoral college votes than he did! Only the Demoncrats could pull off such a ridiculous feat — they have become cartoon characters, a pack of hapless Wile E. Coyotes whose every attempt to squish Trump ends with them lying beneath a huge boulder!

All of these sad facts – the backing of a neo-liberal, neo-conservative candidate, the protests, the crying, the violence, the open disdain for democracy – lead me to one inevitable conclusion, namely that today’s Left is little more than a putrid pile of overgrown children who were given too many participation trophies just for showing up, PC lunatics who worry more about Bruce Jenner’s “right” to call himself a woman than they do about the homeless, neo-liberals desperate to fatten their stock portfolios and hold on to their cheap Mexican labor, and just plain, old fashioned fascist wannabes. It is a once-noble group which has somehow morphed into the villain of the piece, a group that has gone from being personified by the likes of Franklin Delano Roosevelt to being personified by the likes of Charles Montgomery Burns! It is a coalition of pinheads, lunatics and villains that can most accurately be described as reprehensible, dishonorable, contemptible and ignoble – in short, disgraceful.

Four Uses For A Dead Woman

Four Uses For A Dead Woman published on

Now, we all know women aren’t good for much when they are alive, what with their tiny,
underdeveloped brains, their small pathetic muscles, and their inability to tolerate even a
paper cut without screaming for an ambulance. But what about once the poor dears
have cast off this mortal coil, kicked the bucket, bought the farm? In other words,
dropped dead?

Surely, then they must be of some use. Now, i have not spent much time with dead
women ( they are hideously boring even when alive, so i can’t imagine having to hang out with dead ones ) but it does strike me that death would bring some good uses for these otherwise useless creatures. So far, i have come up with four. Not as many as I would like, but it’s three more uses than i have for a live woman.

One : Fertilizer. Yes, that otherwise pointless carcass is just full of the sort of nutrients your roses and hydrangeas will love. Most women would provide about 150 lbs of fertilizer, which is enough to keep the average garden going for a whole year. The average North American woman could keep an entire industrial scale farm going for most of a decade. But we don’t own big farms, so the average woman will do nicely. What we must remember is that women smell even worse when they are dead than they do when they are alive, so you have to use them before they become really putrid. Within 24 hours of death is a good rule of thumb. Also, make sure to properly mulch your woman before spreading her on your garden soil, otherwise she is likely to be eaten by scavengers and family pets and this will mean all your hard work has been for nothing.

Two : Doorstops. For this purpose, small women are best so i recommend Asian ones. You certainly don’t want some 200 lb American walrus for this particular job. Your dead woman will have to be stuffed by an expert specializing in dead animals, and arranged into some sort of compact position. I recommend a sitting, fetal position, that can be achieved by wrapping the carcass in wire or string. A more exotic alternative to having your woman stuffed is to have her pickled in a large bottle, like a prize squash or something. This will make not only for an interesting conversation piece but also for a heavier and therefore more effective doorstop.

Three : Coffee Tables. Positioned on all fours, a woman of average size will provide a table high enough to be positioned in front of your sofa so you have somewhere to rest your feet and your beer while playing video games. Women have notoriously spindly limbs, so i recommend re-enforcing your woman with some 2 by 4s. Otherwise, you may find your woman collapsing at the most inopportune of moments. Taller women, such as Geena Davis and other Orc-human hybrids, can be used as dining tables but such women are hard to find, especially dead.

Four : Shark Bait. For this, you will need not only a woman but a boat, a very strong fishing pole, and an ax. The ax will be required to cut the woman into pieces manageable enough to be placed on the hook, yet large enough to look appetizing to the sharks. Arms and legs are the best bait, but the head, as in life, is pretty useless. The torso is too big for any but the largest sharks but can be chopped up into chum which can then be thrown into the water to attract the sharks.

Where to obtain your dead woman

This one is not as hard as it seems. Dead women are plentiful, especially in areas where female-specific disasters are likely to occur. Malls, for example, are often the site of female deaths brought about by some woman missing out on that pair of shoes she just had to have, jumping off the highest level, and splattering herself all over the ground. If you are quick enough, you may be able to scoop her up, put her in a wheelbarrow and run off before management calls the morgue. Another good place to find dead women is at boy band concerts. These are usually young women who have died from estrogen poisoning while screaming frantically at the latest teen idol, and they die in such large quantities that you can usually find dumpsters full of them in alleys surrounding the concert venue.

So there you have it, four uses for a dead woman, four useful things you can do with these otherwise useless little people. Just goes to show that in God’s wonderful plan every creature, no matter how lowly, has its purpose. Yes, even women.

Donald Sutherland is ashamed of being male. And white.

Donald Sutherland is ashamed of being male. And white. published on

Strangely enough, he seems quite proud to be Canadian. Go figure.

Needless to say, this Donald, unlike the other one, is a massive, massive pussy. And a total embarrassment to both his sex and race. Here’s an idea, you senile old coot — why don’t you start identifying as a black woman? Because we sure as hell don’t want you over here.

And how about Helen Mirren, hey? Who is it that, worldwide, is more privileged than a rich white male like Sutherland? Yes, it’s a rich white female like Mirren! Utter scum, this woman. It’s like a rich white man telling some black guy in the ghetto that he, the black guy, is the privileged one!

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