When writing that headline I almost wrote “Duck” instead of “Trump.” I guess it’s because they are both bad-tempered cartoon characters with barely intelligible speech! But you have to play the team you have, not the team you would like to have.

As I see it, whoever gets into the White House is going to be a plutocratic piece of scum. That is just as true of Mr. Duck as it is of everyone else. Clinton has made it clear that the 1% has nothing to fear from her, and we can take her word for it because, given that she and her husband have tens of millions of dollars in assets, she is one of the 1%. Trump and the other Republicans are also members of the plutocracy to varying degrees, so on this matter they are all bastards and bitches.

Here’s where the differences arise, though. While Hillary is clearly a neo-conservative Amerikan Imperialist who supported the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and would probably launch one or two more if she could have her way, Trump has for years been saying the war in Iraq was a big mistake. He only said it after it was well underway, of course, but that’s better than we have gotten out of Clinton. The other Republicans who stand a chance of getting the nomination are about as bad as Clinton. Jeb Bush is actually one of the signatories of the Project For The New American Century’s statement of principles! It’s no longer online, but it basically said, “Let’s take over the world! Yeeeharr!” Marco Rubio seems to be a full-on neo-conservative who would have signed the Statement of Principles if he had been of consequence at the time. Ted Cruz doesn’t seem too bad when it comes to Amerikan imperialism, but having been born in Beaver Land, he may or may not be eligible for the US presidency, and that uncertainty alone will probably stop him from getting the nomination. So, the way things look right now, that leaves the fight for the White House as a Clinton v Trump, Clinton v Rubio, or Clinton v Bush proposition. And that means, alas, that a certain hamster-haired idiot is the lesser of the available evils.

And sure, I would prefer someone with a proven left wing record like Bernie Sanders, but we all know the old guy has no chance of winning the Dem nomination. Why? Because he’s a guy! And the Dems are hell-bent on putting a woman in the Oval Office no matter how big a piece of shit she is. So Bernie stands no chance of doing anything except forcing Clinton to pretend to be a lefty during the primaries. Once she wins the nomination, it’ll be a swing to the center to get enough votes, then, once in the WH, she will show her true colors – just as Obama did. Elizabeth Warren might be able to beat Clinton, either as Batman or as Robin to Sanders’ Batman, but she has made it clear she wants no part of this particular comic book. Therefore, unless footage surfaces that shows Hillary was the second gunman on the grassy knoll, it will be Clinton who gets the nomination.

So, the choices for President seem to come down to a rabid, plutocratic, Neo-con Democrat piece of shit, a Neo-con Republican, another Neo-con Republican, or a retarded baboon with a dead hamster on his head – I’m going with the retarded baboon!