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Walk The Dog – Or Else!

Walk The Dog – Or Else! published on

The weirdoes in charge of Australia’s RSPCA (our version of the Humane Society) have put forward a proposal that takes government interference in everyday life to a ridiculous new height – they’ve suggested that people who don’t walk their dogs “often enough” should be fined thousands of dollars, and in some cases even jailed!

Being a swine myself, I’m all for giving people who mistreat animals a kick in the teeth, but making it an offense to not walk the dog “often enough”? And just how often is “often enough”? Well according to the article…

“The proposed new laws are designed to formalize the national code, which states dogs must be walked at least once a day.”

So on top of everything else, Australians will now have to take doggy for a walk every freaking day or they’ll be looking down the barrel of jail time. Bad enough for those who work very long hours, but even more so for the elderly or disabled for whom doing this every day may simply be impossible. There are a couple of women in my area that can only get around on motorized wheelchairs, and both of them have lapdogs. How the hell are they supposed to take these dogs for a walk every day? And what if your dog is a lazy bastard who refuses to go walkies? What are you supposed to do, drag the bastard through the streets? Why, that would be illegal too!

And precisely how does one prove the dog is being walked regularly anyway? You can prove it’s not underfed by pointing to it’s gut, prove it isn’t being abused by pointing to a lack of injuries, but what do you do to prove you’re walking the bugger? Make a video recording of each walk while keeping a newspaper with the day’s date in clear view? Ludicrous. Let’s face it, anyone with a grudge against you (psycho ex-wife, that bloke you keep beating at pool, that drinking buddy who resents you for never buying a round…) could claim you’re not taking Fido for enough walkies and you could end up wearing a fine of up to 12 thousand dollars or even jail time!

I’m all for protecting furbearing quadrupeds, but this goes far beyond the protection of animals to the oppression of humans. It’s yet another little thing to keep people worried and anxious, yet another distraction from the real problems of the world, yet another way to keep people scared and unthinking. Think I’m exaggerating? Think the people who enforce the law will always be sensible about it and not lock up citizens who are clearly not criminals? That’s what many people think, people like Samantha Tumpach, an American woman who taped four minutes of Twilight: New Moon during her sister’s birthday celebrations at the local cinema , and is now being threatened with three years jail! Safe to say that if someone had told Tumpach that something this surreal was in her future she would have said “Oh, come on, you’re exaggerating!”

Big Brother strikes here.

Go Home, Ya Mug!

Go Home, Ya Mug! published on

Are you the kind of twit who likes to work for free? Probably not, at least you don’t like to do so, but if you are an Australian worker there’s a 50% chance that you are doing exactly that.

According to progressive think tank The Australia Institute, about half of Australia’s workforce is giving their bosses more work hours than they are paid for. For a full time worker, most of whom of course sport wangs, this averages out to 70 minutes of free labor every day, and more than six weeks of extra gravy for the boss every year!

Obviously the occasional bit of unpaid overtime is no problem, it’s when a business actually relies on the unpaid hours as part of  a covert business plan that it becomes exploitative of those who work, while denying new jobs to those still seeking employment. To combat this egregious exploitation the Institute has declared November the 25th to be “Go Home On Time Day”, a day on which you can tell the greedy bastards to get stuffed and go home at 5pm like you’re supposed to, not at 6 or 7 because he/she is too money-grubbing to hire extra help.

According to the Institute’s Josh Fear, the Australian worker’s unpaid overtime adds up to a “subsidy” of $72 Billion per year, gratis, from you to the guy with the Porsche, the trophy wife and the house in Vaucluse, or Toorak, or wherever it is rich bastards live in QLD…

It’s time to put an end to this bizarre Alice in Wonderland situation! If you must insist on working more than the traditional 40 hours a week, then at least make sure you’re not giving it away for free. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with a little hard work, but if you’re doing it for free, you’re a mug.

Official website here

Article here.

The Great Freddo Robbery!

The Great Freddo Robbery! published on

A twelve year old boy has been charged with receiving stolen goods after a friend gave him stolen Freddo Frog (one of Australia’s most popular kiddie chocolates).

The boy is an aboriginal, or as Silvio Berlusconi would put it, he is “tanned”, and i’m sure that didn’t help his case any, given that Aboriginal kids are almost 30 times more likely than other kids to be in the clink on any given day. Poor little bugger, male and black in a western country – how’s that for being twice damned…

The young boy, who is apparently perceived by the authorities in Western Australia as the greatest threat to Australian law and order since the days of Ned Kelly, was held for several hours in the local lockup after being arrested and also faces a second charge over receiving a novelty sign from the same friend. This sign apparently reads ”Do not enter, genius at work,” so it is a safe bet that it wasn’t stolen from a Western Australian cop’s office.

The little menace’s lawyer, Peter Collins, has asked the WA police to drop the charges but has so far not been given a response.

John Fogarty, a children’s rights campaigner told the media…

”If this was a non-indigenous child, the most he would probably get in Victoria and most other jurisdictions, would be the mildest of warnings by the local sergeant.”

If the sentencing disparities between white adults are anything to go by, he probably wouldn’t  even get that if it wasn’t for his willy.

More on the Lilliputian John Dillinger here.

Australian Man Kills Abusive Wife

Australian Man Kills Abusive Wife published on

The primary reason I’ve taken an interest in this story is that it is the male equivalent of so many cases where the sexes are reversed – someone kills their spouse then claims long term abuse and/or self defense in an attempt to get off the hook. Women like Mary Winkler got away with it, perhaps justifiably as contrary to some urban legends the alleged abuse was much more serious than those famously tacky shoes and was corroborated by her family, so I’m curious to see if what works for the American goose also works for the Australian gander…

Sydney man Frank Haschka, a seriously loaded builder from the well-to-do Eastern suburb of Woollahra, has entered a not guilty plea to his wife’s murder claiming that he acted in self defense. Haschka claims that shortly after Christmas 2007, his long-time abuser got drunk and attacked him with a knife, leading him to strangle her to death.

According to the dead woman’s son, his mother would often get drunk and hurl dishes and knives at her husband. ”It was a very difficult environment to live in,” said Andrew Haschka. Apparently so difficult that Andrew cites his mother’s behavior as the main reason he left home.

Andrew’s wife Victoria told the court that the her mother-in-law was a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde…

”there were two Moniques”. ”There was the public one, which was beautiful and charming and then there was the other one, which could be terrifying… When she was drunk … that was incredibly difficult to be around.” Victoria also claims that when Andrew Haschka suggested to his mother that she had a drinking problem she became enraged and started throwing plates and knives at him, just like dad claims she did to him.

Charming woman, this Monique Haschka seems to have been. The more I read on this case the more I think old Frank should get the Mary Winkler – a couple of months and that’s that. Of course, for such a thing to happen we’ll have to hope his willy doesn’t get in the way…

Articles here… and here.

Big Fuss Over Local Bitch!

Big Fuss Over Local Bitch! published on

Sarbi the black Labrador, an Australian Special Forces doggy, went missing in Afghanistan more than a year ago during a furious firefight, and after what was no doubt an Annus Horribilis , she was found in Uruzgan by an American soldier, who promptly turned the lucky bitch over to the Aussies.

Sarbi went missing late last year after the convoy she was in became involved in a fierce firefight with the Taliban. Several attempts were made to find the missing pooch, none of them successful till a US soldier by the name of John bumped into her, tried some commands which no ordinary mutt would have been able to obey, and realized this was the missing Australian doggy he had heard about.

Sarbi will be brought back to Australia after some quarantine to make sure she hasn’t contracted any terrorist tendencies – let’s hope the story has as happy an ending for John and the other guys over there as it’s had for Sarbi.

Funny PS.

My Word spellchecker (the same one that doesn’t recognize misandrist as a real word) offers as the correct spelling of “bitchh”, and “bittch”, not the rather obvious “bitch”, but rather words such as “batch”, “birch” and “pitch” because as everyone knows, “birch” is a far more common word than “bitch”…. How’s that for an example of the insidious stealth of political correctness?

Apart from that, this story has nothing to do with men’s rights, but hey I like doggies so sue me.

Original report here.